March 2012 (5) 08: 2012 – March 8 (Wife has never looked sexier) 07: 2012 – March 7 (Main strength as a lover) 06: 2012 – March 6 (Bigger than even a D battery) 02: 2012 – March 2 (Died from a heart attack) 01: 2012 – March 1 (Women do have a G-Spot) February 2012 (10) 29: 2012 – February 29 (Commemorative plates) 26: 2011 – February 26 (Cameron Diaz is so much prettier) 24: 2012 – February 24 (Find lice shampoo) 23: 2012 – February 23 (Son has an ingrown nail) 22: 2012 – February 22 (Given my guitar to my daughter) 21: 2012 – February 21 (I’ll eat your face) 20: 2012 – February 20 (Glow-in-the-dark baby unicorn) 19: 2012 – February 19 (Mash your boobs into me) 18: 2012 – February 18 (Steven Tyler and Sean Connery) 16: 2012 – February 16 (Learn that one yoga pose) October 2011 (41) 22: 2011-October 22 (When you stood at a urinal) 22: Advice: Why are guys so incredibly shallow and stupid? 21: 2011 – October 21 (Shiny-bronze-gong-hacked) 21: Advice: How do I bring up the little people sex fetish with him? 20: 2011 – October 20 (Patrick Jane in The Mentalist) 19: 2011 – October 19 (Cold beer and a piece of chicken) 19: Advice: Charlize Theron sexier than Angelina Jolie? 18: 2011 – October 18 (Dangers of auto-erotic asphyxiation) 18: Advice: Can you turn gay overnight? 17: 2011 – October 17 (Rush teens at the park at night) 17: Advice: Where can I find single pregnant women? 15: Advice: Ideas for fun things to do as a couple? 14: 2011 – October 14 (World without bacon) 14: Advice: What is the perfect woman? 13: 2011 – October 13 (Having grown up with 70′s pornos) 12: 2011 – October 12 (Had to show you her boobs) 12: Advice: Lap dancing etiquette? 11: 2011 – October 11 (My 5-year vasectomy anniversary) 11: Advice: Do know what this plane ticket dream means? 11: Photos: Two of my classmates 10: Advice: How do I shave my girlfriend? 10: Photos: Got all the ladies 09: 2011 – October 9 (Perfectly salted Iranian pistachios) 09: Advice: Is it illegal to have sex with a horse? 08: Advice: How do I deal with my girlfriend’s dog? 08: Photos: Gym class 07: 2011 – October 7 (My hired help in India) 07: Advice: Bleeding every time I have sex with my boyfriend? 07: Photos: Wasn’t right in the head 06: 2011 – October 6 (National Lampoon Twitter Awards) 06: Advice: Bring up the vegetables with her? 06: Advice: Can love turn into hate? 05: 2011 – October 5 (If I could grow facial hair) 05: Advice: Bring this up to her without mentioning the diary? 04: 2011 – October 4 (When you were watching Glee) 04: Photos: This is Marilyn Monroe 03: Advice: Who is better, Sidney Crosby or Alexander Oveshkin? 03: Photos: Men from the government 02: Advice: What if my girlfriend cheats on me in my dreams? 01: Advice: How do I get the woman of my dreams? 01: Photos: The Boston Red Sox September 2011 (55) 30: News: Man arrested on animal cruelty charges after school science fair project goes askew 30: Photos: Going Trick-or-Treating 29: Advice: Why does he keep blowing me off? 29: Photos: He had magical powers 27: Advice: Why is my wife talking nonsense again? 27: Photos: His wife was a glass coaster 26: 2011 – September 26 (Wife admit that she was wrong) 26: Advice: Relationship despite our age difference? 25: News: Night nurse finds gold – hospital claims ownership and sues for the nuggets 25: Advice: Screwing around when you are high a valid reason? 25: Photos: Vitamin C cocktails 24: Advice: When it comes to a man’s crotch hair? 23: 2011 – September 23 (Her hand in the general area) 23: Advice: 16-year-old girl and I’m wondering if I’m ready for sex? 23: Photos: Coolest kid on the planet 22: Advice: Why this burning sensation in my penis? 21: 2011 – September 21 (Not in the Mile High Club) 21: Photos: Knitted his chain mail 20: Advice: Stop the slut from making an ass out of herself? 19: Photos: When Angela fell in love 18: 2011 – September 18 (Serena Williams’ thighs) 18: Advice: Break up with him because he eats meat? 18: Photos: Cut lard from your diet 17: 2011 – September 17 (Woman with manicured nails) 17: Advice: Why do Swedes wear helmets with horns? 17: Photos: Made our toilet paper 16: 2011 – September 16 (Thermometer in your dog’s butt) 16: Advice: Make it easier for blondes everywhere? 16: Photos: With our Easter dinner 15: Advice: Can I tie weights to my penis? 14: Photos: Before the Mile High Club 13: 2011 – September 13 (Women of Twitter) 13: Advice: Why do guys have nipples? 12: Advice: You aren’t sensitive enough for hauntings? 12: Photos: Birth to bastard triplets 10: Advice: How do I tell if I eat too much pizza? 10: Photos: Lived near Innis Falls 09: Photos: Broke both his legs 08: 2011 – September 8 (Come over for tea) 07: 2011 – September 7 (Bees, heights and croquet hoops) 07: Advice: Safe to drink Coors Light here? 07: Photos: First bra I ever saw 06: Advice: Ask my girlfriend to switch shampoos? 05: 2011 – September 5 (Free! Works Great!) 05: Advice: Best Nintendo Wii game ever? 05: Photos: Me in the bath 04: Advice: Ask my half-naked neighbor to cover up? 04: Photos: Negative pregnancy test 03: 2011 – September 3 (Horrible spelling mistake) 03: Advice: Does that make her my girlfriend? 03: Photos: Baby pictures on Facebook 02: 2011 – September 2 (When you are at Starbucks) 02: Advice: What does my dream mean? 02: Photos: Golfing in Florida 01: Advice: Why do I feel the need to stay with her? August 2011 (52) 31: 2011 – August 31 (Highlight of Labour Day) 31: Advice: Find someone to marry an ugly woman? 31: Photos: Apples on strings 30: 2011 – August 30 (Brad Pitt is turned down too) 30: Advice: What should I get my best mate for his birthday? 30: Advice: Think she saw a dumb look on my face? 29: 2011 – August 29 (Ask me to shuck oysters) 29: Advice: What other hockey moves have Sidney Crosby invented? 29: Photos: Sex Ed 28: 2011 – August 28 (Hawking in dreadlocks) 28: Advice: Suck it up and focus on his good qualities? 28: Photos: Magazines and newspapers 27: Advice: Tell my new girlfriend that her mustache is tickling me? 26: 2011 – August 26 (Drum solos from the 1970s) 26: Advice: Pregnant from having sex with a dog? 26: Photos: Threatened by the law 25: 2011 – August 25 (Grabbed her baby’s head) 25: Advice: Pursue this woman or not? 24: 2011 – August 24 (Wedding anniversary today) 24: Advice: Why do guys watch porn? 23: Advice: What is a neutron? 23: Photos: Teacher having a bath 22: 2011 – August 22 (Prison shower and you bend over) 22: Advice: Always hurt to lose your virginity? 22: Photos: Baby dragons 21: 2011 – August 21 (Freakishly handsome friend) 21: Advice: Baby turn oriental if you unload in a cup? 20: Advice: Talk to my boyfriend about my period? 20: Photos: 3rd grade art class 19: Advice: Ask my boyfriend to shave his head? 18: Advice: Buy her a chastity belt or something? 18: Photos: Army of orcs 17: Advice: Explain the claw marks and scratches on my back? 16: Advice: Recommend good colors for Goth lipsticks? 15: Advice: One special person out there for all of us? 15: Photos: Petrified of water 14: Advice: Any tips on eating a girl out? 13: Advice: Five fingers on each hand instead of six? 12: Advice: Die from being away from your love? 11: 2011 – August 11 (I love you) 11: Advice: How do I keep my woman for a long time? 11: Advice: Use science to prove that angels do not exist? 11: Photos: Something fun to happen 10: 2011 – August 10 (Never trained my dog) 09: 2011 – August 9 (My entire stock portfolio) 09: Photos: Liked burning things 08: Advice: Get my girlfriend’s bowel movement out of my head? 07: 2011 – August 7 (Used me as a slip n’ slide) 07: Advice: What is the most beautiful thing to you? 05: Photos: Social Services visiting 02: Advice: Should I get breast implants? 01: Advice: About people that have been abducted by aliens? July 2011 (39) 30: 2011 – July 30 (Blow-up doll springs a leak) 30: Advice: Can babies get nose jobs? 29: 2011 – July 29 (When at a job interview) 29: Advice: It is possible to love a car more than your girlfriend? 28: 2011 – July 28 (Moaned and bent over crying) 27: Advice: Can a dog get hurt if kicked? 26: Advice: World going to end in 2012 as predicted by the Mayans? 25: 2011 – July 25 (Remember Spain) 25: Advice: Is it normal to have sex with stuffed animals? 24: 2011 – July 24 (Your hairy grotto of wonders) 22: 2011 – July 22 (Baby powder on my sack) 22: Advice: Person can protect himself from ghosts? 21: 2011 – July 21 (Need no stinkin’ GPS) 21: Advice: Does speed dating work? 20: 2011 – July 20 (Obviously paranoid delusions) 19: 2011 – July 19 (Big-haired women formed circles) 18: Advice: Can urine be dangerous in any way? 17: 2011 – July 17 (Woman is not hitting on you) 17: Advice: My girlfriend has worked as a prostitute? 15: 2011 – July 15 (Rambo III poster from 1988) 15: Advice: What do you think would happen if Miley Cirus got pregnant? 13: 2011 – July 13 (Smelt the wrath of God) 12: 2011 – July 12 (Rode Ronald McDonald like I crazed Mongol) 12: Advice: Does this count as my first kiss? 12: Advice: How do I impress my new girlfriend? 11: 2011 – July 11 (Used my son’s piggy bank) 10: Advice: What do you think of lip tattoos? 09: 2011 – July 9 (No reason to protect your tweets) 08: 2011 – July 8 (Feed the animals whatever you want) 08: Advice: How much are you supposed to wave to a neighbor? 07: 2011 – July 7 (Like a killer whale on a walrus’s afterbirth) 06: 2011 – July 6 (Never is my life more beautiful) 05: Advice: Normal to never fight in a relationship? 04: 2011 – July 4 (Painfully throbbing ovaries) 03: 2011 – July 3 (‘Jesus’ in your Twitter name) 03: Advice: Be a good Christian even though my brother frightens me? 02: 2011 – July 2 (Your relationship is in trouble) 02: Advice: How can I find a very tall wife in Indonesia? 01: 2011 – July 1 (Not regarded as a compliment) June 2011 (45) 30: Advice: Get my boyfriend to wash more often? 28: 2011 – June 28 (Making dog treats) 28: Advice: Who should get the money for the puppies? 28: Advice: What can I do to about kids and their laziness? 27: Advice: Meeting someone using an online dating service? 26: 2011 – June 26 (Crying like a Star Trek fan) 25: 2011 – June 25 (Not getting laid) 25: Advice: Am I normal? 24: 2011 – June 24 (Doll of Anderson Cooper) 24: Advice: His mum have given me a sex disease? 23: 2011 – June 23 (Please bring a stool sample) 23: Advice: Has my boyfriend lost interest in me? 22: 2011 – June 22 (You need a whisky) 21: 2011 – June 21 (Kid in Star Trek pyjamas) 21: Advice: Make my penis bigger? 19: Advice: Ignoring my girlfriend’s vegetarian advances? 17: 2011 – June 17 (Wife hides her purse) 16: 2011 – June 16 (All I want for Father’s Day) 16: Advice: Great Horned Owls prey to any other animal species? 15: 2011 – June 15 (Hypnotist about my bee phobia) 15: Advice: Which public conventions are attended by the least pathetic guys? 14: 2011 – June 14 (Theme song to Bonanza on guitar) 14: Advice: Why are Swiss women so attractive to men? 13: 2011 – June 13 (Viral marketing was to be fooled) 12: 2011 – June 12 (Popcorn and racing slot cars) 12: Advice: Make him understand that I don’t need to be impressed? 11: 2011 – June 11 (Non-judgemental and sensitive Pisces) 11: Advice: Techniques I can use to improve my confidence? 10: 2011 – June 10 (In the time of Jesus) 10: Advice: Am I a crossdresser? 09: 2011 – June 9 (My wife has never had the energy) 09: Advice: Any advice on our age difference? 08: 2011 – June 8 (Approached by wondrous women) 08: Advice: How do I stop farting during sex? 07: 2011 – June 7 (Small talk about the NBA) 07: Advice: Wasting my time with my boyfriend? 05: 2011 – June 5 (Confuses me for a woman) 05: Advice: Am I too fat to have a boyfriend? 04: Advice: Keep working as a stripper despite the peeing accidents? 03: 2011 – June 3 (Part of Sarah Palin’s PR) 03: Advice: What do I get my boyfriend for a one year anniversary present? 02: 2011 – June 2 (Derelict Twitter parent) 02: Advice: Will I be raped when I go to prison? 01: 2011 – June 1 (Cats and Renée Zellweger) 01: Advice: Why are some people afraid of clowns? May 2011 (43) 31: 2011 – May 31 (Married and no longer stare at boobs) 31: Advice: Wife always bitter and angry? 30: 2011 – May 30 (Woman adjusts her thong) 30: Advice: Get her to wear my ex-girlfriend’s clothes? 29: 2011 – May 29 (Committing Twittercide) 29: Advice: How do I get to try a strap-on on my boyfriend? 28: 2011 – May 28 (Met the cutest chick in the park) 28: Advice: Make her choose between the dog and me? 27: 2011 – May 27 (Wiped my son’s butt with wet naps) 27: Advice: What can I do about my wife and Dr. Phil? 26: 2011 – May 26 (Figuring out the washing machine) 26: Advice: What signs should I be looking for in a cheating husband? 25: 2011 – May 25 (Brim of your baseball cap) 25: Advice: How do I erase my wife’s memory? 24: 2011 – May 24 (Married before dating sites) 24: Advice: Stiff neck mean that she has meningitis? 23: Advice: Possible that Napoleon Bonaparte is still alive? 22: 2011 – May 22 (My finely manicured nails) 21: 2011 – May 21 (Rapture time approached) 21: Advice: How do I get to have sex with my math teacher? 20: 2011 – May 20 (He lies about wiping) 19: 2011 – May 19 (Slapping your partner’s ass) 19: Advice: Worry if there are orange bits in my vomit? 18: 2011 – May 18 (Project done) 17: Advice: What is an emotionally abusive relationship? 16: 2011 – May 16 (Handful of salted peanuts) 15: 2011 – May 15 (When I wake up still drunk) 15: Advice: Where can I find more rare Bruce Springsteen bootlegs? 14: 2011 – May 14 (Found in Osama bin Laden’s compound) 13: 2011 – May 13 (One of his sister’s lipsticks) 13: Advice: Do girls really need to wear a bra? 12: Advice: What is it about my prostitutes? 11: 2011 – May 11 (Tears and the sobbing) 09: 2011 – May 9 (Listened to Depeche Mode today) 08: 2011 – May 8 (Chicken jerky for the dog) 08: Advice: What do Angelina Jolie’s farts smell like? 07: 2011 – May 7 (5 minutes in to the future) 05: 2011 – May 5 (Where are my damn wings?) 04: Advice: Do you know any home remedies that actually work? 03: Advice: Does the kissing mean I lost my virginity? 03: Advice: Have you ever experienced tragic love? 02: 2011 – May 2 (Hidden inside a dead badger) 02: Advice: How do I stop my girlfriend from leaving me? April 2011 (27) 28: Advice: Give up my virginity to her even though she’s not my type? 27: 2011 – April 27 (Help pay for the royal wedding) 26: 2011 – April 26 (Flew their broomsticks in to a lake) 24: 2011 – April 24 (Kenny G to perform sax solos) 23: 2011 – April 23 (How to get through Easter dinners) 22: 2011 – April 22 (Heresy is a lot of work) 20: 2011 – April 20 (Burn in hell so many times) 19: 2011 – April 19 (Tighter than Smurfette) 18: 2011 – April 18 (Nipples twirled any other way) 17: 2011 – April 17 (Starred by Germans) 16: 2011 – April 16 (Dump in his herb garden) 14: 2011 – April 14 (Never teabagging a chainsaw) 13: 2011 – April 13 (Star my creepy tweets) 12: 2011 – April 12 (Dead under the floor boards) 11: 2011 – April 11 (Here’s an original idea) 10: 2011 – April 10 (Douche bags) 09: 2011 – April 9 (Deep inside her) 09: Advice: Is flying really safer than driving? 08: 2011 – April 8 (Licking the Nike logo) 08: Advice: Can you help my find a website that teaches me flight? 07: 2011 – April 7 (Fart in the face) 06: 2011 – April 6 (Icing my puppy’s scrotum) 05: Advice: Take a dump on my girlfriend just to keep her happy? 03: 2011 – April 3 (Mental image of Sarah Palin) 02: 2011 – April 2 (Sanding and priming) 01: 2011 – April 1 (Working hard all week) 01: Advice: Change my name from Suki Yu to Fuki Yu? March 2011 (28) 31: 2011 – March 31 (New Age ankle tattoos) 30: 2011 – March 30 (Alternator or a muffler) 29: 2011 – March 29 (Never find my wallet) 28: 2011 – March 28 (Priest showed up at the door) 27: 2011 – March 27 (Backrubs and scrumptious pancakes) 26: 2011 – March 26 (Jokes about Jennifer Aniston) 25: 2011 – March 25 (Abducted by aliens) 24: 2011 – March 24 (Wife squeezes her boobs) 23: 2011 – March 23 (When telemarketers call) 23: Advice: How to spot a poor quality wine? 22: 2011 – March 22 (Fire at school) 21: 2011 – March 21 (Rogue burning oil tanker) 18: 2011 – March 18 (Anderson Cooper hair fetish) 17: 2011 – March 17 (Not star your tweet) 17: Advice: How do I tell if my dog is intelligent? 16: 2011 – March 16 (Few days of quiet time) 14: 2011 – March 14 (Catch a grenade for ya) 13: 2011 – March 13 (Mysteries of the universe) 12: 2011 – March 12 (Seeing new parents) 12: Advice: Could you write a FAQ for 3-year-olds? 11: 2011 – March 11 (Love a free spirit) 10: 2011 – March 10 (Wife reads your browser history) 09: 2011 – March 9 (Going bowling tonight) 08: 2011 – March 8 (Crying and showing your emotion) 07: 2011 – March 7 (Syphilis of the brain) 07: Advice: Where can I find cheap scrapbooking stuff for my wife? 06: 2011 – March 6 (Twitter and Favstar) 01: 2011 – March 1 (Scrumptious steak) February 2011 (19) 28: 2011 – February 28 (Baking banana bread) 26: 2011 – February 26 (Soft hands) 25: 2011 – February 25 (Super market fruit aisle) 24: 2011 – February 24 (Free pills are free pills) 22: 2011 – February 22 (Bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon) 21: 2011 – February 21 (Neighbours are selling) 20: 2011 – February 20 (Blew my load twice) 18: Advice: Something I should bring up in the confessional? 14: 2011 – February 14 (Tromm WM2377CW washing machine) 11: 2011 – February 11 (Maybe I’m getting old) 09: 2011 – February 9 (Beer and a hug) 08: 2011 – February 8 (Slip in a Ke$ha CD) 07: 2011 – February 7 (For Valentine’s Day) 07: Advice: How do you eat haggis? 06: 2011 – February 6 (Not a football fan) 05: Advice: Possible to have sex with a woman without her knowledge? 03: 2011 – February 3 (Baywatch pinball machine) 02: 2011 – February 2 (Evil fairy costume) 01: 2011 – February 1 (Immaculate conception) January 2011 (21) 31: 2011 – January 31 (Contained stem cells) 30: 2011 – January 30 (So much funnier) 28: 2011 – January 28 (Cried all the way home) 27: 2011 – January 27 (Female of the human species) 26: 2011 – January 26 (Sting iTunes download) 26: Advice: How do I get her to listen to me for a change? 23: 2011 – January 23 (About social media) 20: 2011 – January 20 (Better grilled cheese sandwiches) 19: 2011 – January 19 (Paris Hilton’s gynaecologist) 18: 2011 – January 18 (Sitting down in the shower) 17: 2011 – January 17 (Life is indeed beautiful) 17: Advice: Being yourself the best way to go to find a girlfriend? 14: 2011 – January 14 (The dirty tweets) 13: 2011 – January 13 (Queensland flood affected friends) 12: 2011 – January 12 (Kindergarten show & tell) 11: 2011 – January 11 (Shoe found in Armenian cave) 10: Advice: Is it wrong for me to date an older guy? 09: 2011 – January 9 (More bird horror stories) 07: 2011 – January 7 (Cuddles with his new Xbox) 07: Advice: Other cool guys to hang out with in the Boston area? 03: 2011 – January 3 (Exchange the boots) December 2010 (29) 31: 2010 – December 31 (Puppy needs to pee really bad) 30: 2010 – December 30 (Wearing nothing but duct-tape) 29: 2010 – December 29 (Plays musical wine bottles) 28: Advice: Woman says that she would like to chew on your foreskin? 27: 2010 – December 27 (Catch up with stars) 26: 2010 – December 26 (Xbox 360 Slim 4 GB) 25: 2010 – December 25 (I blame Jesus) 25: Advice: How do I get a boyfriend? 22: 2010 – December 22 (Kissed by crying angels) 22: Advice: Chances that my pregnancy is false? 21: 2010 – December 21 (Puerto Rican grows his sideburns) 20: 2010 – December 20 (Don’t smoke any more) 19: 2010 – December 19 (Survivor Nicaragua finale) 18: 2010 – December 18 (Today at Toys “R” Us) 17: 2010 – December 17 (Star fairy is on speed) 16: 2010 – December 16 (Ladies, you patterned stockings) 15: 2010 – December 15 (Coyote took our puppy) 12: 2010 – December 12 (Been drinking pineapple juice) 11: 2010 – December 11 (Stray lamb or baby dragon) 10: 2010 – December 10 (Puppy has been digging) 09: 2010 – December 9 (Dog ‘Cooper’ after Anderson Cooper) 07: 2010 – December 7 (Got you Xbox Kinect) 07: Advice: Oysters help with a man’s erection? 05: 2010 – December 5 (Original pick-up lines) 05: Advice: Bad to date my cousin? 03: Advice: Can I have some good advice? 02: 2010 – December 2 (Cut of prime rib roast) 01: Advice: Pregnant if my boyfriend leaks? 01: 2010 – December 1 (Braces in for two days) November 2010 (34) 30: 2010 – November 30 (I’m getting a tattoo) 30: Advice: Cats have nine lives? 29: 2010 – November 29 (Kick-ass painkillers) 29: Advice: Understand that I need my freedom? 28: 2010 – November 28 (Chocolate chip cookie or God) 27: 2010 – November 27 (Quiet on Twitter this early) 26: 2010 – November 26 (Better than my real friends) 26: Advice: Girlfriend’s parrot is just talking crazy? 26: Advice: Hypnotize a girl to fall in love? 25: 2010 – November 25 (Hitting a useless iPod Touch) 23: 2010 – November 23 (Best Glee episode ever) 22: 2010 – November 22 (Officially out of beer) 22: Photos: On her deathbed 21: 2010 – November 21 (Didn’t have a baby) 21: Advice: Drive by car to Paris, France? 19: Photos: Caught a shark 18: 2010 – November 18 (Our pup has been sick) 18: Photos: Turning our neighbour 16: 2010 – November 16 (Christmas lights today) 15: Advice: Good baby names? 14: 2010 – November 14 (Freeze-dried dog treats) 13: 2010 – November 13 (Knitting my winter toque) 12: 2010 – November 12 (Friday night clubbing tip) 11: 2010 – November 11 (Buy some babies) 10: 2010 – November 10 (Praying is important) 10: Advice: Defensive play in their own end? 07: 2010 – November 7 (Been so hungover) 05: 2010 – November 5 (Another guy frightens me) 04: 2010 – November 4 (Bad news) 03: 2010 – November 3 (Wake up to Maroon 5) 03: Advice: Get my new girlfriend to have sex? 02: 2010 – November 2 (Cheese fondue and some Syrah) 02: Photos: Terror bombing 01: 2010 – November 1 (Mesothelioma TV ad lawyers) October 2010 (47) 28: Photos: The Golden Retriever 27: Advice: Have you experienced true love? 26: 2010 – October 26 (Love women that bend) 25: Photos: My first girlfriend 22: 2010 – October 22 (Kill off the women) 22: Photos: Gangrene and scurvy 21: 2010 – October 21 (Old-fashioned way) 21: Advice: Safely compliment a woman? 21: Photos: Favourite toy 20: 2010 – October 20 (Upstairs watching baseball) 20: Advice: Edible mushrooms from poisonous ones? 19: 2010 – October 19 (Lumber of secretions) 19: Photos: Baby pigeon 18: 2010 – October 18 (She’s withholding sex) 18: Advice: Train a slave? 18: Photos: In juvenile hall 17: 2010 – October 17 (I love you so much) 17: Photos: Sears catalogues 16: 2010 – October 16 (Design a high school yearbook) 16: Advice: Tips for an office affair? 16: Photos: Any real friends 14: 2010 – October 14 (Rotting deer carcass) 12: 2010 – October 12 (Help stain their log cabin) 12: Photos: New transistor radio 11: Photos: Lost his legs 10: Advice: Goth beauty and fashion tips? 09: 2010 – October 9 (Whole pecan pie without chewing) 09: Photos: Chicken and knives 08: 2010 – October 8 (Can’t quite put my finger on it) 08: Photos: Trip in Vietnam 07: 2010 – October 7 (Hang out and drink Sangria) 06: 2010 – October 6 (Urgently expedited restraining order) 06: Advice: Recipes for classic aphrodisiacs? 06: Photos: Visiting my cousins 05: 2010 – October 5 (Ancient tampon) 05: Advice: Toilet paper hang out in the front or in the back? 05: Photos: Her hair pulled 05: Photos: Eaten by coyotes 04: 2010 – October 4 (Since you last changed your underwear) 04: Advice: Girlfriend has had sex recently? 04: Photos: Gave her medicine 03: 2010 – October 3 (Shopping for edible thongs) 03: Advice: Jesus and Santa Claus the same person? 01: 2010 – October 1 (Make any woman levitate) 01: Advice: Ask my girlfriend for pee sex? 01: Photos: My brother’s girlfriend 01: Photos: Dressing like a girl September 2010 (42) 30: 2010 – September 30 (Loads her vibrator with batteries) 29: Advice: Money on space programs? 29: Photos: Trying absinthe 27: Advice: He is having an affair? 26: Photos: Her boobies 24: 2010 – September 24 (Japanese Favstar boards) 24: Advice: How should I compliment a guy? 23: 2010 – September 23 (Handling the floor model laptops) 22: 2010 – September 22 (Midsized teenage boyfriend) 22: Advice: Important to women how men smell? 21: 2010 – September 21 (Map for my 2011 camping schedule) 21: Photos: My schoolboy uniform 20: 2010 – September 20 (Lock and handle from our garage door) 19: 2010 – September 19 (Offering me Lupus treatments) 18: 2010 – September 18 (All together in one Halloween costume) 18: Advice: Dreams indicate past lives? 18: Advice: Get an erection after I drink alcohol? 17: Advice: Possible that this is morning sickness? 17: 2010 – September 17 (Along to a Michael Bublé song) 17: Photos: Exchange students 15: 2010 – September 15 (Scoring big on Lavalife) 15: Advice: Dog had his way with me while I was passed out? 14: 2010 – September 14 (Never in a million years) 14: Photos: My pet rabbits 12: 2010 – September 12 (Drunken tweeting) 11: 2010 – September 11 (Put roofies in my drink) 10: 2010 – September 10 (Coked up strippers) 10: Photos: Elvis Presley music 09: 2010 – September 9 (Read in tweets) 09: Advice: What is it about men and farts anyway? 08: 2010 – September 8 (My high school years) 07: 2010 – September 7 (You may call me crazy) 06: 2010 – September 6 (Oiled-up WWF wrestlers) 06: Advice: Like to hear about their girlfriend’s periods? 05: Photos: Dirty girlfriend’s mouth 05: Photos: New invention 05: 2010 – September 5 (George Clooney movie and a box of wine) 05: Photos: On the furniture 04: Advice: Why do gay male couples have anal sex? 03: 2010 – September 3 (Daughter’s iTouch to read your tweets) 01: 2010 – September 1 (Fresh, crisp and succulent mango) 01: Advice: Feels like I am being watched? August 2010 (29) 31: 2010 – August 31 (Slow painful death) 30: Advice: Ruining her favourite panties? 30: 2010 – August 30 (Kids going back to school) 29: 2010 – August 29 (Fart near a trained cadaver dog) 26: 2010 – August 26 (Spicy chicken wings and a cold beer) 26: Advice: Condom in his wallet mean that he is having sex? 25: 2010 – August 25 (Would trust to babysit my kids) 24: 2010 – August 24 (Anniversary number 14) 23: 2010 – August 23 (Take-out Chinese food) 21: 2010 – August 21 (Cracking a bottle of whisky) 20: 2010 – August 20 (When you get home from poker) 19: 2010 – August 19 (Scary, scary stuff) 18: 2010 – August 18 (Only downloaded by Glee fans) 17: 2010 – August 17 (Okay for a guy to carry a purse) 16: 2010 – August 16 (Things that can never be unseen) 15: 2010 – August 15 (Fill in their compatibility test) 14: 2010 – August 14 (From under the bed and eat your brains) 13: 2010 – August 13 (Let’s invade France) 12: 2010 – August 12 (Victoria’s Secret 38D) 11: 2010 – August 11 (Cutting out McDonald’s from my diet) 10: 2010 – August 10 (Throw a kitten in to a wood chipper) 09: 2010 – August 9 (Sweat dripping down your back) 08: 2010 – August 8 (Cool dude with an enormous man-carrot) 07: 2010 – August 7 (In a Jersey Shore strip club) 06: 2010 – August 6 (Electricity gives me power) 05: 2010 – August 5 (It takes a village to raise a rhino) 04: 2010 – August 4 (New boyfriend does gymnastics) 03: 2010 – August 3 (Eating and throwing up) 02: 2010 – August 2 (Sarah Palin also needs a pair of cojones) July 2010 (32) 31: 2010 – July 31 (Work on your iPad) 30: 2010 – July 30 (Twitter without Kanye West) 29: 2010 – July 29 (Crack a coconut with her thighs) 28: 2010 – July 28 (Will have better luck with women) 27: 2010 – July 27 (Batteries in my electrical dog collar ) 26: 2010 – July 26 (Nightmare about Czechoslovakia) 25: 2010 – July 25 (Traffic lights looked so pretty) 24: 2010 – July 24 (Passed through your wife’s birth canal) 23: 2010 – July 23 (Your areolas sweating) 22: 2010 – July 22 (Throws up in your urinal) 21: 2010 – July 21 (Leaves anything on your pants ) 20: 2010 – July 20 (I prefer marriage to dating) 19: 2010 – July 19 (The lawn was mowed finally) 18: 2010 – July 18 (Damned garbage down to the curb) 17: 2010 – July 17 (A hopeless romantic) 16: 2010 – July 16 (5-year-old to pee standing up) 15: 2010 – July 15 (Larry King’s wife) 14: 2010 – July 14 (My toe hurts like hell) 13: 2010 – July 13 (Do not drink the chicken blood) 12: 2010 – July 12 (The best things in life are free) 11: 2010 – July 11 (More time for drink and fornication) 10: 2010 – July 10 (Sunburned in my mullet-free areas) 09: 2010 – July 9 (Attacked by a pack of rabid chimps) 08: 2010 – July 8 (The censored words on Favstar) 07: 2010 – July 7 (List of banned words on Favstar) 07: Advice: Eat the meat of penguins? 06: 2010 – July 6 (Since discovering girlie bits) 05: 2010 – July 5 (Rug burns from crawling back and forth) 04: 2010 – July 4 (Before you set off the fireworks) 03: 2010 – July 3 (Crazy-ass backrub) 02: 2010 – July 2 (God creates skunks) 01: 2010 – July 1 (Following people that follow you back) June 2010 (27) 30: 2010 – June 30 (My wife’s menstrual cycle) 28: 2010 – June 28 (Clean-shaven and hung Mexican) 26: 2010 – June 26 (Shaved my back because I was bored) 25: 2010 – June 25 (Back to star the jiffers out of you) 24: 2010 – June 24 (Female carbon-based life forms) 23: 2010 – June 23 (Feet first in to the bedroom) 22: 2010 – June 22 (Polishing of that special Scotch) 21: 2010 – June 21 (Windows 7 was not my idea) 20: 2010 – June 20 (Star your most brilliant tweet) 19: 2010 – June 19 (Less than four hours to Father’s Day) 18: 2010 – June 18 (Like a French tickler) 17: 2010 – June 17 (Playing with the belt sander) 16: 2010 – June 16 (I make a romantic dinner) 15: 2010 – June 15 (Killed Twitter) 13: 2010 – June 13 (My wife spanks me with rhubarb) 12: 2010 – June 12 (England tattoo on my chest) 11: 2010 – June 11 (Sending off your 16-year-old virgins) 10: 2010 – June 10 (Never been affected by Bieber Fever) 09: 2010 – June 9 (Wearing his wife’s thong and miniskirt) 08: 2010 – June 8 (she passed out on the couch) 07: 2010 – June 7 (Wait for iPhone 6) 06: 2010 – June 6 (Ashamed seeing my shrink) 05: 2010 – June 5 (Up early again this morning) 04: 2010 – June 4 (Prefer to examine your prostate) 03: 2010 – June 3 (Wearing pantyhose in public) 02: 2010 – June 2 (Unreliable when it comes to homework) 01: 2010 – June 1 (If you slapped her ass) May 2010 (31) 31: 2010 – May 31 (Thanks for following) 30: 2010 – May 30 (Hitting the freebie poker tables) 29: 2010 – May 29 (I’m suffering from postpartum depression) 28: 2010 – May 28 (Sideboob to an unknown indie web comic) 27: 2010 – May 27 (Latin for something important) 26: 2010 – May 26 (Nice tuna steak dinner) 25: 2010 – May 25 (Free Denny’s muffin raffle) 24: 2010 – May 24 (Decomposition is disturbing) 23: 2010 – May 23 (Feeling without being hungover) 22: 2010 – May 22 (Help clean up the Gulf oil spill) 21: 2010 – May 21 (Don’t understand gay relationships) 20: 2010 – May 20 (Need to shower more often) 19: 2010 – May 19 (Stitching on a hockey net) 18: 2010 – May 18 (Grilled and enjoyed with lemons and capers) 17: 2010 – May 17 (Montreal won the hockey game) 16: 2010 – May 16 (Man crush on that Mentalist dude) 15: 2010 – May 15 (Another volcano joke) 14: 2010 – May 14 (My Favstar 99-star tweet) 13: 2010 – May 13 (Ritual self-flagellation to Nickelback) 12: 2010 – May 12 (Yummy White Russians) 11: 2010 – May 11 (Not watching Lost) 10: 2010 – May 10 (20-to-life) 09: 2010 – May 9 (Balance between tolerance and patience) 08: 2010 – May 8 (Horses appeared on the beach) 07: 2010 – May 7 (Lobster was spectacular) 06: 2010 – May 6 (Matching the description) 05: 2010 – May 5 (Oil start washing up on the shores) 04: 2010 – May 4 (All your moms) 03: 2010 – May 3 (Woman finding your porn) 02: 2010 – May 2 (Wrote that from scratch) 01: 2010 – May 1 (My problems start once I get in to it) April 2010 (20) 30: 2010 – April 30 (An engagement ring the size of a baseball) 29: 2010 – April 29 (People’s World’s Most Beautiful People list) 28: 2010 – April 28 (Grooving to Justin Bieber) 27: 2010 – April 27 (Side-note about anal warts) 26: 2010 – April 26 (Nicole Kidman photos) 25: 2010 – April 25 (Maze that is IKEA) 24: 2010 – April 24 (Sitting on-top of Favstar) 23: 2010 – April 23 (Help boost their karma) 22: 2010 – April 22 (One of my boobs has more hair) 21: 2010 – April 21 (Lick the insides of a raw salmon) 20: 2010 – April 20 (Find a bowling pin on sale) 19: 2010 – April 19 (Sacrifice a virgin in my honour) 18: 2010 – April 18 (My New Age neighbour) 17: 2010 – April 17 (My sex tape just hit the Web) 15: 2010 – April 15 (Burning of witches) 14: 2010 – April 14 (Stepping in to the shower) 13: 2010 – April 13 (People at OnStar) 12: 2010 – April 12 (Adam Lambert farted in my face) 03: 2010 – April 3 (Battery low quickly) 01: 2010 – April 1 (Score to be refreshed) March 2010 (30) 30: 2010 – March 30 (My left hand) 29: 2010 – March 29 (Creature will be stirring) 28: 2010 – March 28 (Stab you in the throat) 27: 2010 – March 27 (Time on the polar bear pelt) 26: 2010 – March 26 (Kansas City spice rub) 25: 2010 – March 25 (New York City really is the melting pot) 24: 2010 – March 24 (Eating cold cheese fondue) 23: 2010 – March 23 (My wife’s fine motor skills are exceptional) 22: 2010 – March 22 (Almost choked on a pretzel) 21: 2010 – March 21 (People of Kentucky) 20: 2010 – March 20 (I think I’m possessed by demons) 19: 2010 – March 19 (Dog gets up on the bed) 18: 2010 – March 18 (Gold stars I dreamt of) 17: 2010 – March 17 (Nothing ruins the moment) 16: 2010 – March 16 (He drinks his own bath water) 15: 2010 – March 15 (Have changed thousands of diapers) 14: 2010 – March 14 (Run naked through a dense forest) 13: 2010 – March 13 (Lick the paint off a Ferrari) 12: 2010 – March 12 (You are over-reacting) 11: 2010 – March 11 (B-list strippers) 10: 2010 – March 10 (Leave a woman unconscious) 09: 2010 – March 9 (When you have a new girlfriend) 08: 2010 – March 8 (Tell how much a man farts) 07: 2010 – March 7 (Get over yourself) 06: 2010 – March 6 (Syphilis of the brain) 05: 2010 – March 5 (Where your wife’s cheeks end) 04: 2010 – March 4 (I’m grateful I didn’t choke) 03: 2010 – March 3 (Levitate and yell obscenities) 02: 2010 – March 2 (Totally random thoughts) 01: 2010 – March 1 (Playing Mickey Mouse games online) February 2010 (23) 28: 2010 – February 28 (Send more cats and beer) 27: 2010 – February 27 (Big Bang Theory explained) 26: 2010 – February 26 (Woman give birth to a baby) 25: 2010 – February 25 (Hyenas go at it on Animal Planet) 24: 2010 – February 24 (Words used by Chuck Norris) 23: 2010 – February 23 (She shakes around violently) 22: 2010 – February 22 (Outer fringes of human sexuality) 21: 2010 – February 21 (Easy solution to a hard problem) 20: 2010 – February 20 (Your ice cream bill to skyrocket) 19: 2010 – February 19 (Snorting ground chicken) 18: 2010 – February 18 (Joining the Boy Scouts) 17: 2010 – February 17 (Young snowboarders hit the bongs) 15: 2010 – February 15 (Wanting to be my friend) 14: 2010 – February 14 (I had started lactating) 13: 2010 – February 13 (Vial of Easter Bunny pheromones) 12: 2010 – February 12 (Having a vasectomy at 75) 11: 2010 – February 11 (Banning crappy ass-tattoos) 10: 2010 – February 10 (Hideous lies about Santa) 09: 2010 – February 9 (Push my breasts together) 04: 2010 – February 4 (Ignored in the prison showers) 03: 2010 – February 3 (Vomit stained red carpets) 02: 2010 – February 2 (Died choking on aquarium fish) 01: 2010 – February 1 (Living as a hot woman) January 2010 (9) 30: 2010 – Janury 30 (Beer and a tube of Astroglide) 29: 2010 – January 29 (Fried chicken and a cold beer) 28: Advice: Where can I find Apple iPad reviews? 26: 2010 – January 26 (Apple’s upcoming tablet) 13: 2010 – January 13 (Paula Abdul chose vodka) 07: 2010 – January 7 (Stalk of rhubarb) 06: 2010 – January 6 (Eating cabbage) 04: 2010 – January 4 (Fastened on the bride) 01: 2010 – January 1 (Suck on the men’s golf tour) December 2009 (28) 31: 2009 – December 31 (Pubic hair on a toilet seat) 28: 2009 – December 28 (Market for artificial snot) 27: 2009 – December 27 (LA Lakers bench does the wave) 26: 2009 – December 26 (Nail gun or ball gag) 25: 2009 – December 25 (Male lactation spokesperson) 24: 2009 – December 24 (Santa came down the chimney) 23: 2009 – December 23 (At Michael Jackson’s house) 22: 2009 – December 22 (The lady next door got laid) 21: 2009 – December 21 (Stuffing the turkey) 19: 2009 – December 19 (Scientology silent birth) 18: 2009 – December 18 (All you can eat parsnips) 17: 2009 – December 17 (My wife is going caroling tonight) 16: 2009 – December 16 (We need to talk) 15: 2009 – December 15 (Back to doing what he does best) 14: 2009 – December 14 (Women who don’t block the sun) 13: 2009 – December 13 (Common questions at Taco Bell) 12: 2009 – December 12 (Understanding of astronomy) 11: 2009 – December 11 (Sarah Palin’s favorite things) 10: 2009 – December 10 (Chainsaw isn’t strong enough) 09: 2009 – December 9 (Mattresses at church bingo) 08: 2009 – December 8 (With both your wife and mistress) 07: 2009 – December 7 (Erotic novel I just started) 06: 2009 – December 6 (More fast-paced than bobsledding) 05: 2009 – December 5 (Pigeon conversation starters) 04: 2009 – December 4 (Tracked by NORAD) 03: 2009 – December 3 (More delicious than yeast infection) 02: 2009 – December 2 (You will need a wife) 01: 2009 – December 1 (Will be laying a new floor) November 2009 (5) 30: 2009 – November 30 (Smoking a fist full of pot) 29: 2009 – November 29 (Listening and spell checking) 28: 2009 – November 28 (Shining a laser pointer in your eye) 27: 2009 – November 27 (245 million years) 17: Advice: Is the Loch Ness monster real? December 2008 (1) 12: Advice: How to get her to notice me? November 2008 (1) 01: Words that have never been used to describe a bowel movement October 2008 (14) 31: Signs that you are visiting a bad strip club 29: Sarah Palin’s greatest accomplishments 26: Possible reasons why Sarah Palin is not releasing her medical records 25: Jobs I would find too exhausting 24: Things said by politicians that should make you scared 21: Things that have been used to death in horror movies 20: Personal antacid records 19: Ways in which I would enjoy seeing Sarah Palin eaten 18: Most disgusting insects to be bitten by 15: Ideas for penis pump brand names 04: Funniest female stand-up comedians in America 03: Other Head and Shoulders type products we need 02: Describing the Joe Biden and Sarah Palin vice presidential debate 01: Worst places to get motion sickness September 2008 (22) 30: Rumored code names for the war against Iraq 29: Why this season’s Dancing With The Stars will be a let down 28: Memories from a Tanzanian high school prom 27: Stuff I could have easily invented to make my life as Neanderthal more tolerable 26: Things you never want hear your doctor ask you 25: Celebrity tricks I would love to see performed by David Blaine 24: Things around the house that are slightly older than John McCain 23: Advanced Kama Sutra positions that never makes any books 22: What I imagine John McCain is not doing at the moment 21: Other “almost-like-real-people” John Rambo could kill for our amusement 20: Common insults at porn movie sets 19: Sarah Palin’s favorite things to put down 14: Differences between George W. Bush and John McCain 12: Less impressive construction crews 10: Out of necessity I would myself eventually have invented the following 08: Great ways to waste time 07: Advantages with dating a mermaid 06: Why I would make for a lousy male witch 05: Sports star food products which are yet to be marketed 03: Real-life baby worries 02: Most common places where rapists hide 01: Memorable prescriptions August 2008 (25) 30: 80′s songs I would love to hear performed by Bob Dylan 28: Celebrities that would look sexier as “Cabbage Patch Kids” 27: Words you rarely hear in the same sentence 26: Horrific things to have on your shoes 25: Pictures on people’s bodies that should not be referred to as tattoos 24: Chinese I heard sung at the Beijing 2008 closing ceremony 23: TV ads that feature a lot of smiling and dancing 21: Helpful pointers I would love to hear expressed by Dr. Phil 19: Cool stuff you can do on the surface of the moon 18: Forgotten Christian rock hits 17: Alternative medicine boner pill trademarks 15: Great dark beers that taste as good coming up as they do going down 14: Things I learned while watching the Olympics last night 13: Analysis of the leaked nude pics of French Olympic swimmer Laure Manaudou 12: Events I would loved to have seen at the Beijing Olympics 11: The Beijing Olympics in numbers so far 10: Things that make Michael Phelps the best swimmer in the world 09: Notes about the American basketball team at the Beijing Olympics 08: Beijing 2008 opening ceremony surprises 07: Signs that your girlfriend is too old for you 06: Girlfriends that my parents never approved of 05: Non-beauty tips to make yourself less attractive 04: Other Elmo dolls that I would like to see 02: Cartoon characters that are not all that well hung 01: Food items that sound good (when pronounced with a British accent) July 2008 (28) 31: Lesser-known hobbits 30: Transportation that I haven’t piloted yet 28: Yearly expenses for an up an coming actor (actress) 27: Best ways to get rid of facial hair 25: Great smelly places to hide a dead body 24: Most overvalued resources in the world 23: Secret recipe for a Hollywood blockbuster movie 22: Probably perfectly nice people who I don’t trust 21: Words that only sound like depraved sexual acts 20: Signs that your high-end restaurant waiter used to work in a family theme restaurant 19: What not to do when drunk out of your mind 18: Clown name ideas 17: Titles that only sound amazing 16: Post-it notes stuck to my computer right now 15: My most memorable restaurant apologies 14: Random sentences from a prologue to a never to be finished story about a squirrel 13: Australian wines that I would love to see 12: Celebrity books that I would like to see published 11: DeWalt power tools that haven’t been used in horror movies 10: Names of race horses yet to be used 09: Things I find very stressful 08: Other slang terms for farting 07: Things to ban to make the world a better place 06: Customizable birthday card ideas 05: My made-up German words that I often use 03: Why is baseball America’s favorite pastime? 02: Twins you have the best odds of getting it on with 01: Rip-off coffee brands June 2008 (28) 30: Recipes and ingredients I normally avoid using 29: My most memorable shoe sizes 28: Products I bet Apple could not refine 27: The smell of Apple is boring… Other Lysol bathroom smells needed… 26: Common mix-ups involving world capitals 25: What your cool looking and supposedly spiritual Chinese tattoo is really spelling out 24: Snow White and the Seven Menopauses 23: What Jesus would be called if he were a “brother” 22: Headlines from Victorian era housekeeping magazines 21: Recently enjoyed beers 20: Graffiti tags you rarely see 19: Theories why women go to the bathroom together 18: What your boyfriend is thinking when looking at other women 17: Stockholm tourism review 16: What frightens me about global warming 15: Alleys where you wouldn’t get laid 14: What I would hate to see written about myself in the papers 13: Tips for shaving your balls 12: Golf etiquette – best clubs for hitting different rodents 11: What you rarely see injury attorneys specialising in 09: Words used in personal ads that signal “serial killer” 08: Rarely performed ballroom dances 06: Common accidental pregnancy explanations 05: Minor football calls you rarely hear 04: Issues I have with virtual sex 03: Things that cannot be Goth 02: What would have made my father proud 01: Why joining the army sucks dinosaur balls May 2008 (28) 31: Clues that your dad also has a vagina 30: Tattoos only republicans would go for 29: Other things Jackson Pollock could have excelled at 28: Modern filthy hippie regalia 27: Where George W. Bush would cause less damage 25: My Babel Fish translation queries 24: Superheroes to which I wish I had access 23: Forgotten Country music hits 22: Why people love certain sports 20: Instruments you shouldn’t bother learning if you hope to get laid more than average 18: Sausages not meant for human consumption 17: Curious George children’s book scripts that never made it to print 16: More comfortable things to sit on than a rusty nail 15: Superpowers I could live without 14: Things nobody would enjoy finding in their fridge 13: Erotica during Canadian Thanksgiving 12: Unreleased Beatles songs 11: Indispensable male beauty tips 10: Forgotten Flower Power hits 09: Exotic shot recipes 08: Things people rarely collect as a hobby 07: What everyone should know to help make the world a better and happier place 06: Lines you will never hear in a Quentin Tarantino movie 05: Food that’s not as appetizing in liquid form 04: Popular Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavors in new combinations 03: Happiness can be many a splendorous thing 02: Star Wars related boxing matches that people would pay to see 01: Love dolls that never became big sellers April 2008 (30) 30: Most disgusting things I have slipped in 29: Animals when they at their most beautiful 28: Words you don’t want to hear from your vacuum cleaner 27: TV shows that I have pitched to NBC 26: Better uses for Southern Comfort 25: Least likely sporting events where you will see rioting 24: Why UPS is better than FedEx 23: Less popular materials for decorative items 22: Possible reasons why Jordin Sparks had a vocal chord hemorrhage 21: Things I learned at my first Canadian Football League game earlier today 20: Catchphrases I have coined 19: Celebrity marriages that I would love to see 18: Pizza toppings that never really took off 17: D-list stripper names 16: Creepy looking guys with great hair 15: How to show guys that you are a real skank 14: Fictional characters that would be easy to grip and “hang on to” as lovers 13: Tips on how to spot a poor quality wine 12: Life is good – girlfriend 11: About tongue piercing and jewellery 10: Things people buy but don’t end up using as often as planned 09: Possible future quotes by Hollywood actors and actresses 08: Delicious sushi that starts with the letter “K” 07: More rewarding things to do than watching a Julia Roberts movie 06: Movie villains you don’t want to see taking a dump on your front lawn 05: Quebec food that no one has ever eaten on the same day and survived 04: Common sounds of pleasure in 1970′s adult movies 03: Placemat designs I would like to use when the in-laws come here for the holidays 02: Great things about having scurvy 01: Movie creatures that would make lousy pets March 2008 (31) 31: Why I enjoy having eyebrows 30: Marriages would be more enjoyable if 29: Daughter-in-laws through the decades 28: Why the CFL game is better than the NFL game 27: Taking a long-distance relationship to the next level 26: Pathetic things about suburban wiggers 25: Things I imagine Rosie O’Donnell has never seen in person 24: Fish you often see sold in supermarkets 23: Disney Princesses who are most likely to put out 22: Nagging husbands don’t mind hearing 21: Things Uri Geller should have tried bending in addition to spoons 20: Extremely rare deaths for penguins 19: Ways to beat and feel superior to a gorilla 18: Where your tongue piercing could get stuck 17: Battles in which I am quite sure I could beat Dart Vader 16: Comments on bad tattoos 15: Rare pizza deliveries for a swinger party 14: Why ballerinas make better wives than bodybuilders 13: Toilet paper patterns that would make me hesitate for a moment 12: What you do not want to hear your girlfriend yelling during sex 11: What the Vatican missed when updating its thou-shalt-not list 10: Cameos you will not see in the inevitable big-screen version of Night Rider 09: Other uses for beer according to the Blogosphere 08: People I always wished my buddy was when I was younger 07: Better than threesomes 06: What you rarely see at Miami Dolphins games 05: What would make me nervous about having sex with an Asian woman 04: Places where my fist luckily has not been 03: Real pistol reviews (or things overheard at a gay pride parade) 02: Most likely places where you will find your wife’s thong if she’s morbidly obese 01: Things you won’t be afraid of after being married for more than 10 years February 2008 (28) 28: Other more appropriate descriptions for the gritty streets of New York 27: Least sexy positions for intercourse with a sane human of the male species 26: Clues that signal cheap prostitute 25: Words that truly define Emo 24: Moments when no teeth beats teeth 23: Times that suck 22: Other options to masturbation for single guys 21: Advantages of having an obese girlfriend 20: Bringing James Bond up to date 19: Ideas on how to spice up The View 18: Why I will never go to a Rolling Stones concert again 17: Most over published Flickr photos 16: Ice cream flavours I have not seen yet 15: Why I would hate being a Goth 14: Overused terms in image macros 13: Drawback to being hung like a horse 12: The scariest rabid animals 11: People I would be nervous to have for dinner 10: What dogs rarely smell like 09: Horrific events Nostradamus did not predict very accurately 08: The worst things a George Clooney date could possibly do 07: Important years in Swedish history 06: Things that would make the world a very different place 05: What I image would be difficult for Star Wars Stormtroopers 04: Things you really don’t need to have a closer look at 03: Difficult things to do with melted butter 02: Women that have never been naked in any of my dreams 01: My favourite ways to enjoy reindeer January 2008 (31) 31: Signs that your wife might be getting overweight 30: How to tell if your dog is intelligent 29: Rare polkas not performed often enough 28: What scared me about magicians when I was a kid 27: Why I would make for a lousy prositutue 26: Things I would be able to do if I were Rosie O’Donnell 25: Signs that your web hosting company is sub par at best 24: Kevin Federline’s nicknames for all his kids 23: Smells I would market if I were to sell pills that changes farts 22: Imaginary sharks that I wouldn’t be afraid of at all 21: Better things to do than to finish Super Mario Galaxy 20: What have celebrities been able to do for Darfur so far? 19: Completely uninteresting things I did today 18: Radio channels we need in Montreal 17: Let’s make the world a happier place and drastically lower the prices on… 16: Things I would be happy about if I were God 15: People who don’t know any better 14: Future headlines regarding the death of the luckiest bastard on the planet 13: Unspeakable horrors 12: Nicknames Brad Pitt could possibly be using for Angelina Jolie 11: Big ticket items I would peddle at the supermarket checkout if I owned a store 10: Horrible cheating excuses 09: Personals by wildlife 08: What you can’t have too many of 07: Not as impressive masters 06: Reasons why the next great depression won’t be as depressing as the one in the 1930′s 05: Animals that look funny in hats 04: Things that are equally important to having a big penis 03: Comments overheard when Miami Dolphins fired coach Cam Cameon 02: Signs that you are dealing with a second-rate chef 01: Predictable early January news reports December 2007 (31) 31: More realistic New Year’s Eve resolutions 30: Most common Cambodian sex related myths 29: Shelters that we need but rarely see 28: Brand names of strap-ons that instil respect 27: Crappy family restaurants that I try hard to avoid 26: Books I will probably never read 25: Jamie Lynn Spears’ (Zoey 101) pregnancy in numbers 24: Disgusting booze 23: Mixed signals from women 22: Signs that you are dealing with a discount escort 21: Signs that you are completely and utterly bored 20: Things that count as a third testicle 19: Alternatives to Subway’s “Eat Fresh” slogan 18: Signs that you might be dealing with jailbait 17: Depresssing things about being an angel 16: People we have too many of 15: All I want for Christmas this year 14: Horrible choking deaths 13: My still unfinished self-help books 12: Why Christmas is better in Sweden than in North America 11: When things are not gay 10: Benefits of getting snowed in to a desolate mountain top cabin 09: Horrible names for a dog 08: When you don’t want to see bubbles 07: Items you rarely see guys purchase at one time 06: My 2 1/2-year-old’s Santa wish list 05: Other terms for (ED) erectile dysfunction 04: What not to talk about on a first date 03: Potent phrases I don’t use often enough 02: Honorary titles that I could live without 01: What I imagine Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger could be doing today November 2007 (30) 30: Common choking hazards according to the U.S. Department of Health 29: Signs that your bulimia is getting worse 28: What I bet they didn’t have on the Death Star 27: Luckiest bastards on the planet 26: Our first famous bobbleheads 25: Ugly meat that tastes good 24: Great things about having severe facial herpes 23: Reasons to why the United States is on the way in to a recession 22: Things you will find when cleaning out any aunt’s basement 21: Words yet to be used in a Rocky movie 20: Signs that you might not be the perfect wife 19: Alternatives to Viking helmets if you wish to look even more ferocious 18: Words often used together with the word marriage 17: Wine I enjoy 16: Other monos that affect relationships 15: Things your dildo can’t do for you 14: Medical supplies I’m happy I don’t need to buy 13: Ideas for naming your aquarium fish 12: Things that Asian kids always seem to better than my own 11: Awkward moments for hard-ons 10: Advantages to dating the Olsen twins 09: Ways to lose your skin 08: Recent wet dreams 07: Santa’s second string of flying reindeer as named by my spell checker and thesaurus 06: Lines you will never hear Clint Eastwood say in a movie 05: Why it’s great to have a cop wife 04: Goth make-up colours 03: Signs that your 18-year-old girlfriend is too young for you 02: Suggesting how blondes can prove themselves 01: Fascinating things I have learned today October 2007 (31) 31: Weakest Halloween outfits I saw tonight 30: Things that rarely come in to play during oral sex 29: Activities (made easier) 28: When your hard drive is most likely to crash 27: Why you won’t see me on Facebook.com any time soon 26: Words of truth I hope to one day read in a Ford car review 25: Things I have never seen with my own eyes 24: Things that are easily overdone 23: Animals commonly found in rain forests 22: Essential none-beauty tips for women 21: Lies that your ex-girlfriend has made up about you 20: Why porn actresses have big hair 19: Horrible girlfriend traits 18: Important things for a 40-year-old man 17: Marriage savers 16: How to tell that your date at the basketball game works as a hooker 15: Street gangs not to fear so much 14: Britney Spears when paparazzi is taking pictures of her naked crotch… 13: What I’m happy I don’t have an abundance of 12: Take Home Chef rip-offs that never really took off 11: The only places where a puck causes pain if you are a real hockey player 10: Compliments that would actually work for a guy 09: Common 70-something Caucasian mother-in-law’s thoughts on Chinese food 08: Why Tupperware became so popular 07: Sexiest sounding dog breeds 06: Things that stoned arachnophobes often end up stomping 05: Rare but serious side effects you never want to see listed for your prescription drug 04: Marriage advice your rarely see 03: Different ways the Stanley Cup could end up on Young Street, in Toronto, at the end of the season 02: Toys my kids always hope to find in their Kinder Surprise Eggs 01: A few thing I don’t have in my basement September 2007 (30) 30: Signs that your girlfriend might be a hooker 29: Things that looks cool but hurts like a son of a bitch 28: Random thoughts and wisdom 27: The order of things that goes in to a guy’s first wallet 26: Addictions I wouldn’t mind having 25: New everyday slang for having an erection 25: Where you don’t want people to see dried spills of yoghurt 24: Most common places where guys learned about sex in the early 1980s 23: Shocking celebrity admissions – not! 22: Important things I learned today 21: The meaning of true love 20: Suggested new rules about country music to make the world a better place 19: Other terms describing earrings for men 17: My favourite fridge magnets 16: Things I would like to do again for the first time 15: Horrible things you will hopefully never have to experience 14: Names of the four remaining lobsters at the supermarket 13: The only places where they haven’t found semen on the TV show C.S.I. 12: Star Wars items I would bid on if I found it on eBay 11: Ways to trap a mermaid 10: Things you might read in a letter from an Inuit pen pal 09: KKK toddlers’ trickiest letters 08: Embarrassing accidents that I try to avoid having 07: Expanding on the word ugly 06: Songs that surprisingly weren’t used in any of the Bourne movies 05: What not to use the Internet for 04: Easier venues where Senator Larry Craig could have been soliciting for gay sex 03: My most memorable and joyful labour days 02: Alternative product slogans 01: Lines I doubt have never been published in any romance novel. August 2007 (31) 31: Imagery you seldom see printed on a shower curtain 29: Things you don’t want to hear from your buddy 28: Painful lessons learned the hard way 27: Essential food products that you will never be able to get as organic 26: Lines you rarely hear spoken in John Wayne movies 25: Product disclaimers you rarely see 24: Letters and numbers that make gangbangers drunk and crazy 23: Today I realized that it’s 2007 and disappointingly… 22: Products that probably have a limited market 21: Sounds that best describe Tiger Wood’s driver hitting a ball 20: Authentic 19-th century home remedies 19: New findings about obesity that I hope to see 18: The bathroom tissue of celebrities 17: Drawbacks of being the invisible man 16: First lines of different erotic novels that I plan to write 15: Fruits and spells that have never been featured in a storybook involving a princess and a witch 14: Chess pieces in the seedy side of town 13: Embarrassing deaths if you are the world’s oldest person 12: Newspaper headlines that always get people’s attention 11: Novelty t-shirts you should never try to wear through U.S. customs 10: Wonderful dreams of parrots 09: Signs of a bad reality show 08: Scariest places in and around our house 07: Worst things about getting really drunk in Quebec 06: You know you are in deep trouble when… 05: Things you rarely hear your wife say 04: Why you won’t see Tom Cruise performing in Riverdance any time soon 03: Why it sucks to be a zombie 02: Signs of a big penis on man 01: Disturbing product advertising characters 30: Beautiful turkey imagery and their opposites July 2007 (31) 31: New today street lingo for a quickie shower 30: Simple ideas for how to freak out PETA members 29: Stuff you can’t do overnight 28: Words not very similar in meaning to sodomize 27: My most memorable farts according to my kids 26: What you never want to hear your neighbour say 25: Items not found by the workmen that jack-hammered away our old walkway 24: Alternative lip glosses that never took off 23: Things I could have sworn were the real deal when I was six 22: Gross things that I have never bitten in to 21: Similar books to the Harry Potter book series that I intend to read 20: Beatles-like band names that didn’t spell success 19: Spice Girls world tour coverage that I hope to see 18: Products that will never become eco-friendly 17: Tough Hangman words to solve 16: What to call your children if you intend to eat them 15: What I thought was cool about the comic book character Phantom when I was kid 14: Misleading (and my suggested) text on our food processor 13: My most memorable plastic cards 12: Favourite nuts 11: Great activities I have planned for the kids this weekend 10: What I imagine Michael Jackson will be doing today 09: My five genie wishes 08: Things women rarely volunteer to do in movies 07: Google Trends statistics for specific search phrases 06: Celebrity product promotions I would love to see 05: Least sexy fruits 04: French cuisine a la Babel Fish 03: Best chicken wing recipe in the world 02: Best names of boats I have never seen 01: Today is Canada Day – Fun family games we play in this country June 2007 (29) 30: Salads that I wouldn’t very much enjoy stepping in 29: Books that haven’t been published yet 28: Miracles I have performed that could make me a saint in the future 27: Words that I have never used 26: First lines of books I have though about writing 24: When you never want to hear, “Ooops!” 23: Local stores I haven’t bothered with 22: Talents I wished I had 21: Things I don’t want to hear from my daughters until the year 2037 20: What I often ask myself about NBC Late Night’s, Conan O’Brien’s career 19: Why NASA should try to put a man on Mars 18: Standout names to which people rarely legally change their name 17: The Distorted View Show podcast review 16: If you are great at bowling… You probably suck at… 15: Questions often asked when trying Viagra for the first time (if you are younger than 83)… 14: Never, ever, try to make your wife (of more than 10 years) to say… 13: Signs that you might be evil 12: Son, when I was your age… 11: Transformers movie toys (and) imported Japanese sex toys 10: Indie rock band names (and) bad lies to your wife 09: What you won’t find on my Video iPod 08: Important things I have been pondering today 07: FAQ for 2-year-olds 06: Better deals than buy one CD get one free 05: Labels you don’t want to find on the shrimp ring you just defrosted and ate 04: Friendly, positive and darn right nice things to do 03: Reasons to hate Switzerland as a Canadian 02: Common questions asked at our local La Belle Province fast food joint 01: Revealed: Britney Spears’ to-do list for February 16, 2007 May 2007 (31) 31: Beers that are better than Budweiser 30: Things to openly carry to stop people from cutting in front of you in a Quebec fast food restaurant 29: Phrases I hope you will never hear 28: Enticing WordPress Spam I have received this month 27: Every picturesque village main road needs a pointless museum 26: What not to wear to help you avoid being mauled by a Grizzly bear when camping 25: Defusing a terrorist bomb the TV way 24: Stereotypical names for ‘Indians’ that are rarely used in Westerns 23: Safe compliments for anyone 22: Rejected marketing slogans for the WNBA 21: Meaning of rapper names when using my Thesaurus’ alphabetical list 20: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush – and Monty Python’s Flying Circus 19: Suggested courses for a degree in striptease and lap dancing 18: The only words that have never been used in the title of a mainstream adult movie 17: What I have sworn off through the years 16: Things I’m quite confident about 15: Some endings of different novels I would love to see 14: Thoughts that I have had at one point or another in my life 13: My wife is the perfect woman 12: What I won’t be getting my wife for Mother’s Day 11: Very forgettable things from yesterday 10: How to tell edible mushrooms from poisonous mushrooms 09: Pigeon conversation starters 08: Aquarium fish names that sound like horrible venereal diseases 07: Encouraging words we rarely express to certain people 06: What I vaguely recall after accidentally drinking a Ritalin-Prozac-Paxil-Provigil-Benadryl cocktail at my wife’s nursing home 05: The nametags of everyone that work at my local Blockbuster video rental store 04: Pick-up lines often used by serial killers 03: Signs that you and your boyfriend are probably too rough in bed 02: Crayola crayon names – bad stripper names (1972 – 1992) 01: Spin-off products by Smirnoff Vodka that never took off April 2007 (30) 30: Fascinating facts about King Kong had he been real 29: Titles of personal ads rejected by Spiderman 28: Possible reasons why Humpty Dumpty had that great fall 27: Inflictions that luckily aren’t sexually transmitted 26: Spontaneous advice I would love to hear from OnStar 25: Predictions regarding the outcome of the Iraq war as per by my daughter’s alphabet soup last night 24: Random and not all brilliant thoughts that I have had today 23: Modern art installations that I have been planning 22: Questions that are very rarely asked 21: What I think our fish were thinking when I turned on the aquarium lights for their feeding 20: Possible colours of the illegally parked Jaguar S-Type, that was to my delight scratched by a rusty old shopping cart at the grocery store earlier today 19: Safety devices unbecoming to macho men 18: Observations about the Virginia Tech shootings 17: Possible titles for Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa if painted in 2007 16: Benefits of wearing a fake beard 15: Forgotten hip-hop hits 14: Questions the perfect woman would ask 13: What I would hate waking up in bed with 12: Tough decisions 11: Fascinating photo blogs that I have considered creating 10: What the Pope could do once in a while to appear more hip 09: Future news reported by clueless CNN anchors 08: Horrific numbers 07: Sony DSC-H9 camera review 06: Not very classy thing to have on your bed’s headboard 05: Best jerky in the world 04: Signs that your neighbor is a sick and filthy pervert 03: Secrets on how to keep Michael Jackson out of your pants 02: Real-life Ford automobile names 01: Words I don’t use often enough March 2007 (30) 31: Seven extreme right-wing Christian realizations about the Teletubbies 30: Things that will always make you late for work 29: Original pickup lines 28: Things I failed misereably at as a kid 27: Great deals I would never turn my back on 26: Most common excuses on the TV show COPS 25: Boredom haiku 24: Rapper pseudonyms I have considered 23: Irish pubs I hope to visit on day 22: Maury TV show ideas 21: Common answers to classic riddles 20: Favorite legs 19: Classic karate moves in movies 18: Flavors of chips that I would love to see 17: Worst things about St. Patrick’s Day in Montreal 16: Memories that I hope are false 15: Nicorette gum user reviews 14: Tips on setting up an aquarium for kids 12: The New Age diet 11: Signs that you are flying with a budget airline 10: Karma is karma – A few things that are haunting me 09: What people don’t really appreciate until no longer there 08: Disturbing imagery 07: Money that are always well spent 06: Good luck wedding superstitions 05: “Heroes” TV show characters you haven’t seen yet 04: Signage involving a skull and bones that I never want to see 03: World War II and gigolo slang 02: Songs Elvis sang in concert, but for which there luckily are no known recordings 01: Circle of life when it comes to burning things February 2007 (28) 28: (New today) Canadian words of wisdom 27: Moments of pride you rarely hear expressed 26: Nicknames for boxers that would really stand out 25: You will never ever know 24: Products invented by people who should have had better things to do that day 23: Reasons I wish I had so I didn’t have to go shopping with my wife tomorrow 22: Limited edition Barbies I would like to see 21: Top 20 Indie Rock bands (and albums) of 2006 as voted by the S.H.A.G. 20: Possible reasons why Britney Spears shaved her head 19: Today is President’s Day in the U.S. 18: Cheap and tasteless Bratz doll knockoffs that never made it to market 17: The number 23 movie with Jim Carrey 16: Devices that I haven’t invented yet 15: Less romantic things that I vaguely remember saying to my wife last night 14: Valentine’s Day sex 13: Hockey commentator remarks that were weak decades ago already 12: Nurses don’t make enough money 11: Magic spells I wish I could master 10: Beings I would hate being bitten by 09: Painful truths 08: Anna Nicole Smith is dead 07: Advantages with having a prosthetic arm 06: Things that would drive me crazy 05: Establishments that I would probably not bother with 04: Hillary Clinton 2008 campaign slogans 03: Number of mystery buttons in our house 02: Words that surprisingly were never used in any of the six Star Wars movies 01: Things that look like pipe tobacco when you get desperate for a puff January 2007 (31) 31: Good reasons to marry a woman after only a week of dating 30: Rare Scottish Whiskys 29: Rapala fishing lure comments I have heard 28: Tips to Jehovah’s Witnesses on how to better your chances to get into my house 27: Issues I which politicians would focus their energy on a bit more 26: Sherlock Holmes and another man’s penis 25: Missing Golden Globe awards 24: Kitchen tools which I imagine are rarely used in bedroom romps 23: Words that are very rarely used on a first date 22: My e-mail accounts in numbers 21: New urban legends or are they? 20: What Secret Service agents said to Vice President Dick Cheney after he shot Harry Whittington in the face 19: Apple iPhone review (preview) 18: What is needed to get your husband to do what you want 17: Elvis Presley facts that I bet you didn’t know 16: A celebrity orchestra that people would pay good money to see 15: What I have looked up on Google so far today 14: Great things about spring 13: My favorite bathrooms to go ‘number 2′ 12: Awkward moments in high school 11: Stuff you don’t want to hear your new girlfriend to say in bed 10: What TV host Regis Philbin does in a few alternate realities 09: Things said by Michael Jackson’s chimpanzee Bubbles when excommunicated from the Neverland Ranch 08: Why I would make for a lousy cross-dresser 07: Cute animals that are more ferocious than you might think 06: All you can eat offers you rarely see 05: What I plan to eat tonight 04: Scenes I would love to see in the new Spiderman 3 movie 03: Roots toque letter 02: What I would never want to reincarnate as 01: Saddam Hussein is not dead (signs) December 2006 (33) 31: My New Year’s Eve resolutions 30: Best and worst of 2006 (year in review) 29: My Greatest Pains And Sufferings 28: Churches that I have thought about starting 27: Memorable things that I have said in the last couple of days 26: Sexy on-line dating ads 25: Merry Christmas! 24: Digg.com success of posts 23: Popular gag gifts this Christmas 22: Greatest disappointments for kids 21: Great and not so great colors of Christmas lights 20: Death by Christmas tree 19: Things I hope my wife will get me for Christmas 18: Reasons why not to shop at Canadian Tire hardware 17: Forgotten Christmas carol remakes 16: Top 200 worst celebrity quotes (101-200) 15: Why most people won’t degrade themselves by becoming Hollywood celebrity assistants 14: Borat movie DVD release extras (rumors) 13: Top 200 worst celebrity quotes (1-100) 12: Smoking doesn’t cause cancer 11: Biggest know-it-alls through history 10: Terribly fake aquarium fish 09: Our most disturbing Christmas tree ornaments 08: O.J. Simpson golf talk 07: George W. Bush’s nightmares 06: Paris Hilton’s Google searches this morning 05: Most dangerous toys on the market 04: Best make-up letters ever (3) 04: Best make-up letters ever (2) 04: Best make-up letters ever (1) 03: Celebrity weight loss strategies 02: Cups are the reasons why Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock split 01: Messages I would love to see in Chinese fortune cookies November 2006 (30) 30: Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto spoilers and surprises 29: Britney Spears excuses when caught without underwear when out partying with Paris Hilton 28: Worst things about being Santa Claus 27: Great baseball caps of mine that has sadly bit the dust 26: My favourite liquids 25: Things I’m not proud of at all 24: Most common designs on Kleenex tissue boxes that I have owned 23: Unreleased Abba songs 22: What’s in a name? 21: Russell Crowe and the phone-throwing incident 20: Couple of things that will ruin a breakfast 19: Sports I would love to see at the Olympics 18: What I imagine Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be shopping for today 17: My dad can’t beat up your dad 16: Celebrities and words you often hear in the same sentence 15: The “Chunky To Go” Campbell’s Soup tagline wouldn’t work with 14: Things that would make me very afraid 13: 2010 Vancouver and Whistler Olympics and how Canada will win more gold medals 12: Award winning porn movies 1990-2005 11: What I hate about the TV show Cold Case 10: DVD movie review highlights that sold very few disks 09: Borat movie lines that will be killed by every frat boy in America 08: Truths about lies at Christmas 07: Arts and crafts books I have thought about writing 06: Michael Jackson songs you won’t see on the same hits collection 05: Being an author and historian sounds much better than being a 04: How to tell if your mall Santa is a cokehead 03: Future news – November 3, 3106 02: The iPod comes in handy 01: Stuff we used to enjoy blowing up as kids October 2006 (25) 31: Impressive things you could do with your butt (with some practice) 30: Winsor and Newton watercolours that straight guys avoid buying 29: Languages that sound the best when cursing 28: Oscar winning movies that deserve proper sequels 26: Ideas for Mat Night activities 25: Hockey diving moves invented by NHL player Sidney Crosby 24: X-Men mutants yet to make it to the big screen 23: Great domain names for dating services that are still available 22: Second in toughness to cowboys 21: Pets I wished I had as a kid 20: Bedroom role-playing gone horribly wrong 19: Greatest early not-hits by Depeche Mode 18: North Korea going to war will have dire consequences 17: Other celebratory work “days” needed 16: Dear Santa Claus, This Christmas I would like to exchange a few of last year’s gifts 15: Insignificant things I did today 14: Different reasons why I dated these girls 13: Prettiest keys on a keyboard 12: About the size of your penis (for guys) 11: Great gift baskets for everyone 10: Reasons why a woman could not handle polygamy involving just two husbands 09: Help your husband lose weight 08: Specialty TV channels that are needed 04: At most McDonalds restaurants you can now order breakfast – all day long! 02: Things that can’t be done discreetly September 2006 (22) 29: Questions that need to be answered in season 3 of Lost 28: People who can’t possibly be evil 27: Things that have no other uses 26: Awesome things about the genocide in Darfur 25: Annoy people 22: Members of President Bush’s cabinet with porn star names 16: Things nobody would eat unless told that it’s actually edible 15: How animal lovers impress their dates 14: Most popular adult movies last week 13: Random words from “The View” 12: Other colours of “Cheesies” that would have made the snack less of a success than it is today 11: The hardest words to learn in the dictionary 10: Extreme stunts that would impress even me 09: Non-surprises when the space shuttle was launched this morning 08: The best things I ever thought I had found 07: Useful things I have learned from the Discovery Channel 06: Products that always are a good deal at Wal-Mart 05: Stuff that hurts like a son-of-a-bitch 04: Least sexy languages for passionate screams 03: Songs to play when dancing around in your wife’s pumps 02: Features missing from iPods 01: Animal to fear August 2006 (30) 31: Years that sound good 30: Things that not even nudists do in the nude 29: More rewarding things to watch on TV than a President Bush speech 28: The rejected and the actual soap opera titles 27: How to tell that you are a stable couple 26: Things I would rather be hit by than a baseball bat 25: Better things to do than to watch ‘Dancing with the Stars’ 24: Rejected taglines for the new Lassie movie 23: Ways to answer those annoying “wrong number” calls 22: Food items that taste as good coming up as they do going down 21: Pre-program TV disclaimers that excite viewers 20: Favorite geometric shapes 19: Great surprises found in fridges 18: Alternative uses for tennis balls 17: New names for guns to make them less cool 16: Things I have never done 15: Dead-end jobs 14: Everyday items, which you could easily make yourself – but don’t 12: Famous body parts that would make a mess if they ever exploded 11: Recent strange dreams 10: Great things you might find during your morning stroll 09: Fun things to do in a McDonald’s restaurant 08: Ways to make interesting sounds when you are bored 07: Buying a used car 06: Great stuff I have found in my desk drawers 05: Other not so popular gimmies 04: Natural disasters I would never want to witness 03: Funkiest looking vegetable 02: Things nobody wants to find on their dresser the morning after a night out 01: Animals you don’t want to see taking a dump on your front lawn
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