- Common questions at Taco Bell: (1) Got a few more napkins? (2) More napkins? (3) In which general direction are the toilets?
- Atheist don’t go to hell, caroling or line dancing.
- I quietly decided to stop masturbating after my wife got in to a drunken rage and cut off my hands with a chainsaw.
- God’s back-up plan: You can boil almost any animal in to glue if you have enough of them.
- In Canada, ‘horrific abominations of nature’, move to Los Angeles and become ‘avantgarde Canadians’ in the entertainment industry.
- I make the perfect lover because I can lick clean the insides of a 32 oz mayonnaise jar and can easily break ceramic plates on my man-knob.
- Sland at a porn movie set: (1) Cheese crotch. (2) Sphincter face. (3) McCained. (4) Olson twin-like. (5) General Tao Chicken incident.
