2009 – December 19 (Scientology silent birth)

  • The Scientology silent birth is brilliant. I didn’t hear a thing! Granted, the strip club was loud; I was stoned and had tits in my face.
  • Supposedly, a rim job for $15.00/hr in this economy is a pretty sweet deal.
  • What is ‘Follow Friday’? If it’s anything like promising your kids a Golden Retriever if they can keep the aquarium alive – I’m all in!
  • If there is a Santa: I would love to wear Charlize Theron like Hannibal Lecter wears his mask.
  • Well, ok, so ‘Urethra!’ is not the same as ‘Eureka!’… Fuck you too! At least I’m not wearing a Justin Timberlake t-shirt.
  • What is binge drinking? Is it like a Canadian trying to get drunk on Coors Light?
  • For any reason – never lube up a finger while holding a pigeon
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