2009 – December 24 (Santa came down the chimney)

  • Personally, I would think it more appropriate if Santa came down the chimney, wearing a matted gorilla outfit as a disguise.
  • Before I forget: Merry Christmas to all Nike and Apple child-slave labourers in China! Thanks to you, I have some money left over for beer.
  • To all newly engaged couples wearing matching sweaters this Christmas – fuck you!
  • I hope Vixen is lactating because it looks like we will run out of eggnog.
  • Wikipedia is amazing! Earlier today, I learned that Amsterdam is famous for its tulips and the potheads that eat them.
  • Last line of my latest novel: He would have figured it all out even quicker had he only smelled the butler’s finger.
  • As a kid, I had mixed feeling when my dad bought me a puppy for Christmas and then moved to Jamaica with his secretary
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