2009 – December 27 (LA Lakers bench does the wave)

  • You know your girlfriend is a skank when the LA Lakers bench does the wave after her face is displayed on the Jumbotron.
  • It’s not a sport if you sweat more when questioned for rape than when actually playing the game.
  • The thing I find most fascinating about Rosie O’Donnell is that she is able to walk with a minimal wobble.
  • Pizzeria prayer: Lord, please make sure the extra cheese, really is extra cheese… and no chest and pit hairs in the box this time. Amen.
  • I had a Swedish pervert call the house last night, asking if he can clean out my wife’s Volvo.
  • Today, I’m grateful I have never accidentally sat down on a hedge trimmer.
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