2009 – December 8 (With both your wife and mistress)

  • You never want to wake up with both your wife and mistress holding your penis in a jar.
  • The 17kB executable, which came in an email, will not install Adobe Photoshop CS4 and all the porn on the Internet, onto your computer.
  • Tiger Woods can shoot a three-iron over 300 feet with pinpoint accuracy – and hole-in-one with his wood… Many people didn’t know that!
  • In my honest opinion: Tiger Woods should have kept his indiscretions to the LPGA, as the women there are professionals.
  • Ok, my erotic novel has an ending: ‘They made the dirty on the sweat-soaked polar bear pelt by the open fire.’ Just missing the story now…
  • I slept with Tiger Woods too! I have his balls and one of his shrts to prove it. I might keep my mouth shut for a pint of cold Heineken…
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