2010 – April 13 (People at OnStar)

  • Today is ‘Find Out What The People At OnStar Are Wearing Day’. Don’t by shy now – hit that button, it’s ok!
  • With some luck, I will miss a total of 2,430 Major League Baseball games again this year.
  • After sex, there’s just no right way to say, “There’s blood on the sheets… I think I need to cut my toenails.”
  • Don’t you hate it when you are just about to fall asleep, and your wife yells something stupid like, “WATCH OUT! PEDESTRIAN!”
  • I have a reoccurring nightmare where I’m Lindsay Lohan, and I’m touching myself, and then I wake up touching myself – and then I wake up!
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