2010 – April 26 (Nicole Kidman photos)

  • I used to get handsome erections from Nicole Kidman photos. Now, nothing! Not sure if it’s her new bony ass and legs… Yeah, I’m stumped.
  • You have not lived until you have woken up with your ass covered in sprinkles and NBA autographs.
  • Damn neighbour! Looking to buy: Brazilian Tree Frog and blowgun. Oh, and one dart should do as my wife will blow him.
  • Her bio reads: “I dirty jobs when model club on weekend need supports TX!” What to do? Click the spam links or offer to clean her trailer?
  • He looks like he just woke up in a dumpster. She is skull-numbingly beautiful. They wear matching AC/DC t-shirts. Cupid, you fat bastard!
  • That should do it! I’ll be back in the morning to read my drunken tweets, and hopefully I made myself giggle like a schoolgirl. Nite’!
  • The best pick-up line in downtown bars is still coke. It’s sad because line dancing is healthier and the associated regalia so much cheaper.
  • Denmark – Great Danes – Killed – Sickos… Fill in the blanks! Here’s an optional *groan* if you fuck it up. Back in a bit: need a Tuborg.
  • There must be thousands of organization concerned about whales. What about Largemouth Bass? Yes, your moms are important too!
  • Yes, saying, “Fuglyfuglyfuglyboo” will make your baby girl laugh, but later on in life, she will date an Emo kid or worse – a Kennedy.
  • A “happy ending” after a massage: Is that like when she FINALLY farts, rolls over, and starts snoring, so you can hit Twitter? Say, yes.
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