2010 – April 27 (Side-note about anal warts)

  • You spend 17.5 seconds on the perfect Tweet and you are ignored… Post a side-note about anal warts on FB – everyone is asking when?
  • 15 years ago: Women honked and yelled: “Nice bulge!” Yesterday: “Leave that kid alone and get a fucking shirt on!” And my son cried with me.
  • Since I joined Twitter 5 or so months ago, I can no longer gargle anything, and I dream about moms and unicorns. Thanks a lot Twitter!
  • Yes, I think Sylvester Stallone is awesome too, but only because he built all the pyramids.
  • Dudes, keep your mouths shut for at least 5 minutes after sex or you could end up married, or worse, wearing matching sweat pants in public.
  • Jesus, if I haven’t mentioned it before, remember to thank your dad for lady butt in Spandex. It’s his most brilliant idea to date. Amen.
Share
This entry was posted in Tweets. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>