2010 – August 21 (Cracking a bottle of whisky)

  • Status: Drunk, pants on, cracking a bottle of whisky and getting ready to watch a Quentin Tarantino movie. Yes, very much sexually inactive.
  • ‘The Elephant Molester of Mozambique’s Silver Park’ is a title you don’t need to include on your resume, even though it sounds impressive.
  • Dog whisperer secret: Get up close, talk in a calm voice and blow at the dog’s nose. Oh, yeah, first brush your teeth with tiger urine.
  • When is Valentine’s Day? Please say, August 22nd. Related: Blue balls.
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