- The best part about the kids going back to school is that we can now go back to not having sex in the afternoons too.
- Tip! When the doctor’s pills say: ‘One pill every 4 hours’… Try ’4 pills every hour’ – very different! You are welcome.
- I need the Favstar server to be faster. This is ridiculous! I’m actually getting work done today because I can’t stick any stars.
- The Favstar server is so slow that I suspect it might be made up of a few Civil War era muskets that have been duct-taped together.
- I hate to hear, “I don’t know, it’s pretty early”, when you offer someone a beer in the grocery store. It’s past 10 AM – live a little!
- Holy crap! I can’t believe it! Thanks to Twitter – I’m going to Yale! Wait a minute… Jail – I’m going to jail! Oh…
- My dream is to one day be on 1000 Twitter lists named “his-balls-smell-like-gingerbread-cookies”. Please? Guys? RT
- When I was a kid, “guyliner” meant hockey… and getting a hit with a puck between your eyes, and the black didn’t go away for weeks.
- You know, I thought “semen” was banned on Favstar. It’s not and it makes me happy, and “man-yogurt” just sounds too disgusting.
