- I’ll be back in the morning to star the crap out of you unless a coyote took our puppy (then out looking for a new puppy).
- Ever been so drunk and feverish that you thought your wife’s family heirloom crystal fucking figurines were a glockenspiel? Yeah… that!
- At 2am when the puppy wakes me up, I almost always think: “I get it! You need to pee!” Tonight: “Hey! You could be turned in to a nice hat!”
