- Whenever ‘Feliz Navidad’ is played, a Puerto Rican grows his sideburns.
- Santa, I would prefer to be known as that ‘nice family man that juggles fruit’, instead of that ‘beast that’s hung like a donkey’. Thanks.
- My dog threw up a Christmas ornament… I’m so disappointed in him! That glittery Santa would have looked awesome coming out au naturel.
- When doing a good job, he deserves a raise, a slap on the back or a woman’s thighs to muffle the cries of the kids locked up in the attic.
