- Whenever ‘Silent Night’ is played on the radio, I can’t help but twirl my nipples – I blame Jesus!
- During the mayhem of kids opening presents, I realized ‘this morning would have been perfect if I were Jewish.’
- Wife is ordering me to get the fuck off Twitter and stuff her stocking. Really, who am I to argue? Oh, yes, I’ll be back to star you sore!
- Merry Christmas! I You crazy bunch of freaks and sweets I would make room for on the tarp next to my water heater in the basement – anytime!
- Christmas Eve turned in to Christmas Day…. I threw up and none of you were there to hold back my hair! LOLJK! Burned my hair off ealier.
