- I named our dog ‘Cooper’ after Anderson Cooper because he’s quite intelligent and always smells nice. Whaaaat!?
- I don’t like you women asking me if I’m good at oral sex play because of my avi. I find it sexist! And yes, you could have asked your mom.
- Ever dream that your penis is a guitar that is being restringed by Taylor Swift and then Kanye West walks in and ruins everything? I know…
- Took me four days… And then a woman drives by the house and yells, “Freak!” so loud that I miss-pee the Lady Gaga outfit on my snowman.
