2010 – February 18 (Joining the Boy Scouts)
- Ok, I came to Twitter in late November and have seen less lady-box than when joining the Boy Scouts in grade 3. What am I doing wrong?
- Tiger… Yes, the Olympics are on but these are the Winter Olympics… Hold your press conference during a real distraction – like WWIII.
- I love the name Caligula so much that I consider buying a Rottweiler, or adopting and re-baptizing an Italian bobsledder.
- A match made in heaven: You have $5.00. She has Christmas ornaments in her hair and fishnet stockings tattooed on her legs.
- Selling curling to the masses must be as difficult as selling Dora the Explorer cakes with dildos on top.
- I apologize if your grandma fell down the stairs… God was busy watching me masturbate.
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