2010 – February 20 (Your ice cream bill to skyrocket)

  • Remember guys, it only takes one sperm for your ice cream bill to skyrocket.
  • I’m afraid of bees! I often mistake flies, butterflies and birds for bees… In the summer months, bees give me all the exercise I need.
  • Whenever my wife gets her period, I pray that the substance leaving her body is the ectoplasm of a departing demon.
  • Men will never pickup knitting, because no matter how old a man gets, he will always appreciate a nice pair of tits. Thank you Internet!
  • There’s nothing more rewarding than being able to tell your kids: “Told you so!” Especially, when it involves utter stupidity and chainsaws.
  • Catholic Ireland… Anal sex as a contraceptive and more leprechauns than you can shake a stick at… Just a coincidence? I don’t think so!
  • I have never heard, or read, about menstruations being referred to as “perfect”, but I’ll take your word for it, crazy lady on the bus.
  • There is also sodukomize, which is the act to screwing yourself out of time better spent on doing something productive.
  • Sodomize is not to be confused with field mice, which is a food enjoyed by owls, hawks and foxes.
  • Men’s libido is easily restored by simply taken care of dehydration and hunger – quickly force-feed him 8-9 cucumbers to keep him going.
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