2010 – February 26 (Woman give birth to a baby)

  • Your will realize how pointless it is to measure your penis after you see a woman give birth to a baby the size of a Volkswagen Beetle.
  • USA 6 – FINLAND 0, after the first period! They should have replaced Kiprusoff with a tampon at 3 – 0 in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
  • WTF moment: The 27 secs it takes to realize that your new flat-screen TV isn’t broken, and it’s just the kids who left it on scrambled porn.
  • “Hun, could you please not squeeze my tits like you are baking bread on an hourly wage?” What is that supposed to mean?
  • Works when you are dating… but trust me: Do not surprise your wife with a rubber fist (unless she has lost an arm in a sword fight).
  • Progress: Fireworks to space shuttles… Communal outhouses to Twitter…
  • When I was a teenager in the 1980s, a dildo looked like a… you know, dildo… When did the Klingon weaponry-looking things happen?
  • Insanely fat felines around here… I suspect that their main source of protein is the armpits of the hobo living in the bus shelter.
  • Better than a cuddle: She grabs my ears, and demands that I scream in a crappy Scottish accent, while she rides me like an Ogress in heat.
  • Tornado science: A high-pressure air mass (so-called trigger) is pulled down from the sky by a low-pressure area (so-called trailer park).
  • Celebrate your boyfriend’s huge erections when they happen. Who knows? One day, you might just be the reason for one of them.
  • OMG Facts: There are no rainbows in Russia because they hunted pixies to extinction for their scrumptious livers, in the early 1500s.
  • If I was 100% sure that some of the hot lady-avatars I follow, doesn’t belong to dudes, I would tug at myself more often.
  • Secrets: When I have the house for myself, I rub my ass with butter and slide around naked on the kitchen floor, squealing like a hobbit.
  • True love: During a lap dance, he will call the stripper by your name when he gets the thong pulled over his head.
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