- USA 2 – CANADA 3, you are welcome, Canada! Send more cats and beer! Woooooooooo!
- Today, I have sacrificed 9 cats, 81 times, to help Canada win the hockey gold. I hope they don’t screw it up because it was a lot of work.
- My “special” magazine collection is hidden so well that only my mother can find it.
- Mixed emotions: When she blushes like a schoolgirl but is hairy like a shrimp boat captain.
- Giving Amy Winehouse the British rockstar treatment… She’s sleeping on a plastic tarp next to the oil tank in the basement.
- First, they invent salamis, cashews in bulk and bacon wrapped meatballs. Next, they invent Spandex. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
- Nymphomaniac (n.): Woman with an excessive sexual desire to screw anything that breathes; also, amazing wife and a mother of many.
- Do you know what relieves stress more than pills and getting your rocks off? Yes, logic!
