2010 – February 28 (Send more cats and beer)

  • USA 2 – CANADA 3, you are welcome, Canada! Send more cats and beer! Woooooooooo!
  • Today, I have sacrificed 9 cats, 81 times, to help Canada win the hockey gold. I hope they don’t screw it up because it was a lot of work.
  • My “special” magazine collection is hidden so well that only my mother can find it.
  • Mixed emotions: When she blushes like a schoolgirl but is hairy like a shrimp boat captain.
  • Giving Amy Winehouse the British rockstar treatment… She’s sleeping on a plastic tarp next to the oil tank in the basement.
  • First, they invent salamis, cashews in bulk and bacon wrapped meatballs. Next, they invent Spandex. Coincidence? I don’t think so!
  • Nymphomaniac (n.): Woman with an excessive sexual desire to screw anything that breathes; also, amazing wife and a mother of many.
  • Do you know what relieves stress more than pills and getting your rocks off? Yes, logic!
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