- Ladies, I don’t need to measure my penis… and my nipples are over three inches apart when I push my breasts together. DM me (if you bake).
- Still hoping to one day get to use the line “Sorry, I’m married…” elsewhere but in Police lockup.
- Valentine’s Day tip: Change your underwear and pretend to drink less, and you might be able to guilt your wife in to baking a banana bread.
- She has been around for too long when you don’t care if you fucked her senseless, or if she fell asleep halfway though the sports news.
- Movie review ‘The Book of Eli’: As riveting as watching the Russian women beat team Afghanistan in water polo.
