2010 – February 9 (Push my breasts together)

  • Ladies, I don’t need to measure my penis… and my nipples are over three inches apart when I push my breasts together. DM me (if you bake).
  • Still hoping to one day get to use the line “Sorry, I’m married…” elsewhere but in Police lockup.
  • Valentine’s Day tip: Change your underwear and pretend to drink less, and you might be able to guilt your wife in to baking a banana bread.
  • She has been around for too long when you don’t care if you fucked her senseless, or if she fell asleep halfway though the sports news.
  • Movie review ‘The Book of Eli’: As riveting as watching the Russian women beat team Afghanistan in water polo.
Share
This entry was posted in Tweets. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>