- After today, my 5-year-old will be able to make it 8 feet in the pool. I did end up getting sunburned in my mullet-free areas. Worth it.
- I wonder what the Olsen twins didn’t eat for breakfast this morning?
- You could break a dinner plate on the thing stirring in my pants right now.
- I starred a German tweet even though I could only understand the words ‘aaauw’ and ‘fisting’. I figured she knew what she was talking about.
