2010 – July 13 (Do not drink the chicken blood)

  • Huh! “Do not drink the chicken blood” would have made more sense… Anyone else use Google Translator for French recipes?
  • Whenever I see my wife’s boobs, I praise the Lord that my hands are not inside a shark’s digestive system.
  • “Homie, pick up the soap.” #5WordsBeforeSex
  • “Bought a box of wine!” #5WordsBeforeSex
  • The hotness of covering your wife in chocolate syrup and licking her clean loses its thunder once you have changed a few diapers.
  • Starring your own tweet is the new, “Mommy and Daddy, come see what I did in the potty!” I know… It’s adorable.
  • My dream is to one day become a professional Twitterer. Imagine working in Dalai Lama’s office – more gongs than you can shake a stick at.
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