- Huh! “Do not drink the chicken blood” would have made more sense… Anyone else use Google Translator for French recipes?
- Whenever I see my wife’s boobs, I praise the Lord that my hands are not inside a shark’s digestive system.
- “Homie, pick up the soap.” #5WordsBeforeSex
- “Bought a box of wine!” #5WordsBeforeSex
- The hotness of covering your wife in chocolate syrup and licking her clean loses its thunder once you have changed a few diapers.
- Starring your own tweet is the new, “Mommy and Daddy, come see what I did in the potty!” I know… It’s adorable.
- My dream is to one day become a professional Twitterer. Imagine working in Dalai Lama’s office – more gongs than you can shake a stick at.
