- “No, YOU drag the damned garbage down to the curb, I’m reading tweets!” is what I was thinking… BRB… Dragging garbage down to the curb.
- I went looking for grenadine for the kids and was shocked to find an unopened bottle of Talisker whisky. Just like that. Best. Sunday. Ever.
- Mmmm… Eating roasted Iranian jumbo pistachios with saffron… Delicious! In the next conflict, they should hold those babies hostage.
- Im tryying to writ somethinn pervy an disgustiing but myy finngers keep slipping onn the keybooard.
- Clowns take a lot of abuse, which is unfair. Yes, they are soulless and smell funny but other than that, they are just like the rest of us.
- Sneaking upstairs and frying a garlic/thyme lamb chop in anchovy butter for third dessert is tempting… but what if she’s not asleep!?
- I always imagine sticking my gold stars on one of your butt cheeks and then slapping you on the other as friendly, ‘Thanks! More please…’
