- I prefer marriage to dating, because I no longer have to sit through romantic comedies featuring Hugh Grant before not getting laid.
- Ever since I learned to hum the theme song to The Benny Hill Show, I no longer feel aggressive when I see Sarah Palin. Try it.
- You kids wanted Aunt Jemima pancakes with chocolate chips for dinner? I’m sooo sorry… I thought I heard ‘lobster and scallop crepes’.
- Poker tonight! Which means, the odds of me also getting laid is at par with Kirstie Alley staying at her current dress size – asstronomical.
