2010 – July 20 (I prefer marriage to dating)

  • I prefer marriage to dating, because I no longer have to sit through romantic comedies featuring Hugh Grant before not getting laid.
  • Ever since I learned to hum the theme song to The Benny Hill Show, I no longer feel aggressive when I see Sarah Palin. Try it.
  • You kids wanted Aunt Jemima pancakes with chocolate chips for dinner? I’m sooo sorry… I thought I heard ‘lobster and scallop crepes’.
  • Poker tonight! Which means, the odds of me also getting laid is at par with Kirstie Alley staying at her current dress size – asstronomical.
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