- I rode the short bus tonight! Ok, it was to a volunteer dinner but I have to say, those traffic lights looked so pretty from inside the bus.
- Steve or Emma, sorry for throwing up at the tweetup – your ass crack or lady-box had nothing to do with it. Tequila… #WhenDMsGoWrong
- You write a great tweet but forget the possessive noun – the most important part! Your balls shrink in panic and you need vodka. Yeah, that.
- I started, and was kicked out of, yoga classes on the same day. “You stay on your own damned mat, freak!” is just a money-grab excuse, right?
