2010 – July 28 (Will have better luck with women)

  • Tip! You will have better luck with women if you smell and dress nice, talk like a gentleman and shove your 10 inches down a pant leg.
  • While planting bushes, I dug down and thought I hit the Ark of the Covenant. Turns out it was an old wheelbarrow. God disappoints again.
  • I’m not sure if it’s the Viagra or not but I think our neighbour’s lawn ornament of Virgin Mary just winked at me.
  • That special glow a woman has when she’s pregnant or at the beginning of her period and on the way to visit her mother really is beautiful.
  • Wearing her panties is not really a fetish until she finds out, right? Guys?!
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