- People assume I’m a soccer fan because of an England tattoo on my chest. No! Vacation. Drunk. She was from Southampton. Huge tits. Worth it.
- The #WorldCup as background noise on the TV is awesome! I can’t hear the dog licking his balls so, I can actually get some tweeting done.
- I spent 90 minutes jerking off to porn. What did you do? I win! #WorldCup
- Those horns hide the screams of the poor guys being raped in the men’s room. #WorldCup
- #WorldCup: “Johnson has to change his shirt because there is a drip of blood on it.” #NHL: “Johnson made a necklace out of his teeth.”
- If England doesn’t beat the United States., the rematch should be on a gridiron. Their best players against Girl Guides from NYC. #WorldCup
- I dreamt I grabbed Lady Gaga’s butt with both hands, and I went in for the kiss, but our junk touched so, we made it a soccer hug instead…
- I’m wearing my South Park underwear and right now, in this minute, Kenny looks much fatter than Cartman. Ladies?
