- “I would prefer to examine your prostate while it’s inside you, instead of in a jar on my desk.” My doctor is quite persuasive.
- You are surprised? Ask your husband – everything gets bigger after a pregnancy: feet, ass, thighs, chin, gut, arms, boobies, vagina, ego…
- Police raided clubs for medical Marijuana last night. They got suspicious when patients were walking in carrying Doritos, donuts and fudge.
- Rye toast stacked with lox, dabbed with lemon mayo and a dill mustard sauce. Ice-cold Stella. Life will be excellent for the next 7 minutes.
- Sponsored tweet: ‘Alejandro. Alejandro. Ale-ale-Alejandro. Ale-ale-Alejandro.’ (There’s a Xanax® for that! Love, your friend’s at Phizer)
- Check out at my avi – 8 nipples and a tongue the size of a strip loin steak… Who’s looking for a tweetup?
- I fell asleep early last night and woke up before 5am. I haven’t been up this early since I found my brother’s Playboys, back in grade 6.
