2010 – June 8 (she passed out on the couch)

  • I Feng shui’d my wife after she passed out on the couch. That stuff really works! I feel so much less tense and frustrated now.
  • As a dude, I have never had a period but I did eat an authentic bean burrito once – scary shit!
  • Live & learn: There’s a huge difference between ‘Pilates’ and ‘Pirates’ instruction. My new $300 eye patch is pretty cool though – arrgh!
  • Why make buxom pharmacy cashiers cry? If a sunscreen of SPF 60 is not “enough for you”, reapply every hour, or wear chainmail, dumbass!
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