2010 – June 9 (Wearing his wife’s thong and miniskirt)

  • Our neighbour across the street sure has balls wearing his wife’s thong and miniskirt while doing yard work. Big hairy ones apparently.
  • “It’s not ‘bonny ape tit’ you moron! It’s ‘bon appétit’ : bo?-nä-p?-t?. Besides, it’s a pizza joint… Try using ‘Here. You. Feed. Now.’”
  • Burnt my breast pump after only 7 hours. According to the fine print you are supposed to be lactating and stuff. Too expensive of a pastime!
  • Tonight I’m going down on a burger topped with blue cheese, pancetta, raw onions, wasabi mayo, ketchup – my 5 Tums burger. Nom!
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