2010 – March 24 (Eating cold cheese fondue)

  • Lying on the couch and eating cold cheese fondue with a spatula, and crying to Seinfeld reruns, is a poor substitute for sex.
  • I wonder if the underwear bomber is back to masturbating yet?
  • Spelling is twicky! Sorry.
  • ‘Analysis of lust and constipation – VII attempt’: The Mona Lisa if painted today.
  • Looking for a bootleg of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘High on love (even though his sack hangs low)’ a duet with Reba McEntire. Anyone?
  • You know your penis is sub par at best when she looks more like an angry hippo than a clubbed seal pup afterwards.
  • Marriage is where repeated untimely headaches eventually gets the garage door painted.
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