- New York City really is the melting pot for all the weirdoes in the world. It also smells, which I like, due to excessive sweat glands.
- Sexy: “I can smell pussy!” – Not sexy: “I can smell possum!”
- “Tobacco spit is the icing on the trout.” – West Virginia proverb, defined just now.
- Tip from a friend: Never try to use a lawnmower blade (if still in motion) to cut your toenails.
- Another huge bonus gay guys have, is that both can parallel park. Too late to switch teams now… Getting fucked at the garage instead.
- Sexual tension… Is that like when the woman falls forward during a reverse cowboy?
- Not afraid of God because I don’t ask for parking spots and shit like that. And “Oh, God! Fuck, yeah!” is not a request, but a statement.
- I have never eaten croc jerky nor had sex with a woman named Gretel. They are now entries 4 and 62 respectively, on my bucket list.
