2010 – March 25 (New York City really is the melting pot)

  • New York City really is the melting pot for all the weirdoes in the world. It also smells, which I like, due to excessive sweat glands.
  • Sexy: “I can smell pussy!” – Not sexy: “I can smell possum!”
  • “Tobacco spit is the icing on the trout.” – West Virginia proverb, defined just now.
  • Tip from a friend: Never try to use a lawnmower blade (if still in motion) to cut your toenails.
  • Another huge bonus gay guys have, is that both can parallel park. Too late to switch teams now… Getting fucked at the garage instead.
  • Sexual tension… Is that like when the woman falls forward during a reverse cowboy?
  • Not afraid of God because I don’t ask for parking spots and shit like that. And “Oh, God! Fuck, yeah!” is not a request, but a statement.
  • I have never eaten croc jerky nor had sex with a woman named Gretel. They are now entries 4 and 62 respectively, on my bucket list.
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