- Stupid shit my dad said got ‘im 20-to-life.
- It brings me Dalai Lama-like pleasure to see a dude with stumps for arms walk his pitbull.
- My dog brought me a flashlight and a ruler. No idea what he expects me to do? Now sitting there looking at me, as if I’m slow. It’s creepy!
- Sure hope the 0 / 0 in following / followers is a Twitter glitch or I will need to move from beer to heroin.
- Droll (adj.) amusing in a quaint or odd manner; comical. Troll (n.) Will rip your damn arms off.
- This Mother’s Day gets a ‘C’. Satisfactory. It was up to a solid A- but things went downhill quickly after we ran out of lube and Doritos.
