- It’s odd… Cats, dogs, babies, horses, old folks and sheep find me irresistible. Either I need to shower more often or my wife is crazy.
- The guys are heading over to a strip club but I decided to stay home because I find it degrading to pay $8.50 for a bottle of beer.
- Kids are off school tomorrow. I also decided to take the day off as soon as I know that my wife has dragged them all to the mall.
- Looking for a business partner interested in reviving the time-honoured Scandinavian tradition of breeding and selling rape skunks. DM me.
- I swear to God wedding photographers get their ideas for portrait poses while taking awkward family snapshots at petting zoos.
- Cable guy showed on time, smelled of spring flowers, found the problems, no charge and he left some tools behind. So far, the best day ever.
