- Hell hath no fury like a woman finding your porn.
- We are currently having a problem with a coyote running around the neighbourhood solving the cat problem.
- I would feel very uncomfortable taking part in a swingers party because I don’t like to share my beer and chicken wings.
- Only at Walmart will you be worshipped like God by just walking around with 30 pounds of Velveeta cheese in your shopping cart.
- Phone sex companies are outsourcing to India but keeping their high prices as you can get your dick and Dell serviced at the same time.
- Yoga is for those times when you need to check out what your balls really look and smell like.
- Greece gets a €110-billion bailout. After taxes, bribes and paying your mom, that’s like over ten thousand pork souvlakis!
- The founder of Taco Bell passed away thing morning. Please, a moment of silence in all bathroom stalls.
- In terms of education and awareness, I wish they would combine National Masturbation Month and Delete Your Browser History Month.
- Last words: “Dad, the strap doesn’t reach when I hold your camera like this.” R.I.P. Canon and youngling daughter.
