2010 – May 3 (Woman finding your porn)

  • Hell hath no fury like a woman finding your porn.
  • We are currently having a problem with a coyote running around the neighbourhood solving the cat problem.
  • I would feel very uncomfortable taking part in a swingers party because I don’t like to share my beer and chicken wings.
  • Only at Walmart will you be worshipped like God by just walking around with 30 pounds of Velveeta cheese in your shopping cart.
  • Phone sex companies are outsourcing to India but keeping their high prices as you can get your dick and Dell serviced at the same time.
  • Yoga is for those times when you need to check out what your balls really look and smell like.
  • Greece gets a €110-billion bailout. After taxes, bribes and paying your mom, that’s like over ten thousand pork souvlakis!
  • The founder of Taco Bell passed away thing morning. Please, a moment of silence in all bathroom stalls.
  • In terms of education and awareness, I wish they would combine National Masturbation Month and Delete Your Browser History Month.
  • Last words: “Dad, the strap doesn’t reach when I hold your camera like this.” R.I.P. Canon and youngling daughter.
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