2010 – May 5 (Oil start washing up on the shores)

  • I have a great spelling, shrimp, Kraken joke once the oil start washing up on the shores. DM me!
  • This sponsored tweets thing is awesome! Only 15,000 more and I can BUY some Christmas shoes. Damn you all!
  • Sponsored tweet: ‘We have nothing to do with anything at any time – we play Bejeweled® 2.’ (British Petroleum board of directors)
  • Sponsored tweet: ‘Yes, it’s Satan that puts the zits in those places where you need tiny little fairy fingers.’ (Oral Roberts University)
  • Peeing pointing it down is sooo much easier. Thank you Jesus for saving my marriage!
  • Oh, heavens! I think I just wet myself… Ok, I spilled the beer… But still awesome!
  • For you enquiring: No, I didn’t get lucky tonight. Well, it’s raining so the garage door can’t be painted tomorrow, so, yeah, still married.
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