- Friday night clubbing tip: I wash my chest and back hair with puppy dog shampoo… Women that like it – LIKE IT A LOT! Guys, you’re welcome!
- I’m so Hetro that at suburban house parties I rather eat questionable deli meats than dance to Lady Gaga.
- Tip! When your wife asks you, “How many beers have you had?” Right answer: “I don’t know… less than 14?” Wrong answer: “Make me sammich!”
