- People will hate you if you say, “Damn! It smells like a bear took a shit on a rotting deer carcass in here!” in the wrong Chilean hospital.
- You know you are getting old when you wake up in the morning and see a raise in the comforter, and freak out bashing it with a clock radio.
- No matter how I plot a 10-mile walking route, it takes me past a pizza joint, deli, liquor store and a taxi stand. Fuck you, Google Maps.
