- People, paper clips are freakin’ complicated! Look, more wine! Oh, and Happy Easter! I love you so much.
- Yeah… Two bottles of the blood of Christ and a baguette worth of his body, trickled with the Balsamic vinegar of Satan. What did you do?
- I would really appreciate it if all of you could please start adding one or two typos to your tweets also. Thank you for your cooperation.
- “Blumpkin”. Okay, I finally Googled it… Come on, people! Really? That would sooo distracting when eating a bucket of KFC and tweeting.
- My teenage daughter is so freaking cute in the way she thinks I respect her privacy and don’t record and read every keystroke on her laptop.
- My wife is at the Alouettes football game. My daughters are rock climbing. I’m home baking and colouring with my boy. Also, lactating.
- “I need to take my mom to the dentist. Don’t get drunk! The boy has hockey in the morning. No shots! No juggling!” Related: What day is it?
