- My favourite Twitter listing is, “amazing-ladies”. On Saturday nights, we hang out and drink Sangria. They flash boobs and I praise Jesus.
- I will never feel fully validated until Charlize Theron sits on my face!
- 5-year-old: “My gym teacher looks like an avatar!” Me: “Weird ears, eyes and skull?” He: “Yes….… and she wears a blue shirt all the time.”
- When someone who never stars your tweets asks to meet you in real life – they are a Jehovah’s Witness or a serial killer, right?
- It’s at the point now when I go to Google.com, I get automatically redirected to midget porn and beef jerky recipes. Thanks big brother!
- Sitting here thinking about a school year book and t-shirt design… So far, I have dropped my pants and sorted your avis based on bra size.
