- My 5-year-old… I love him. He’s friendly, smart and compassionate. He’s well-spoken and charming, especially with coked up strippers.
- Women who claim this braless and sweaty summer is over are terrorists. Pass it on, thank you.
- If it wasn’t for Luther Vandross and Yo-Yo Ma, I would never get laid. It’s like having a syphilitic hobbit as a wingman. Guys, try it.
- The Walmart bargain bin is where capitalism goes to die. Oh, except for the dated peanuts, oils and Nickelback CDs, people still buy those.
