2010 – September 7 (You may call me crazy)

  • People, you may call me crazy but I think I just turned down sex… in a parallel universe!
  • I cry when I think about all the tap dancers and big-bosomed English Teachers that also must have died on the Death Star.
  • Have you ever made a bong out of a tiffany lamp and a ping-pong paddle? No? So, shut the fuck up!
  • My wife told me I was too hot and bothered last night on my tarp next to the water heater.
  • If Jesus “was all that” he would not only take the wheel but also hide the crack pipe.
  • “Oh, my God! Your hands are so soft… Hey, guys, come feel these hands!” AND that’s why I prefer fist bumps to handshakes before poker.
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