2011 – April 18 (Nipples twirled any other way)
- It can’t be just me? Left one – clockwise; right one – counterclockwise… Having your nipples twirled any other way is simply icky, right?
- My son always gets an ‘A’ in religion even though not baptized. I take great pride in that as a father that levitates and has a goat fetish.
- The bubonic plague outbreaks – the roofies of the Middle Ages.
- I understand if you unfollow me after that tweet… I’m so sorry… Not really.
- Tip! Don’t order the Bloomin’ Onion as an appetizer at the Outback Steakhouse if she is sensitive about the look of her asshole.
- Cleaned up dog vomit and a one of my fingers accidentally slipped in to my ass… Honestly, I didn’t get too aroused. You people are weird!
- Living in Quebec, Canada, I have picked up some French, which comes in handy when I swoon hairy Italian Octomoms in seedy night clubs.
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