2011 – April 20 (Burn in hell so many times)

  • Funeral tomorrow… Please, no hobbit-anal tweets between 10am and 2pm EST – I can only giggle, and burn in hell so many times! Back soon.
  • You haven’t lived until you have had a Republican-Faux-Christian cum on your shoes in an airport bathroom stall. Oh, you all have? Carry on!
  • Tip! Don’t say, “That one should fill you up nicely!” and then nod to her frozen pizza if there’s also has a zucchini in her grocery cart.
  • I have never had sex with an Asian woman. It might be me biggest regret; not learning to beg and plead in more than 37 languages.
  • Loading the nail gun, and climbing the apple tree – my version of Angry Birds.
  • The frozen ‘alien’ in Siberia turned out to be a stuffed and painted chicken; finally proving that Siberians need high-speed Internet porn.
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