- Funeral tomorrow… Please, no hobbit-anal tweets between 10am and 2pm EST – I can only giggle, and burn in hell so many times! Back soon.
- You haven’t lived until you have had a Republican-Faux-Christian cum on your shoes in an airport bathroom stall. Oh, you all have? Carry on!
- Tip! Don’t say, “That one should fill you up nicely!” and then nod to her frozen pizza if there’s also has a zucchini in her grocery cart.
- I have never had sex with an Asian woman. It might be me biggest regret; not learning to beg and plead in more than 37 languages.
- Loading the nail gun, and climbing the apple tree – my version of Angry Birds.
- The frozen ‘alien’ in Siberia turned out to be a stuffed and painted chicken; finally proving that Siberians need high-speed Internet porn.
