2011 – August 28 (Hawking in dreadlocks)

  • MTV VMAs when Lil’ Stephen Hawking in dreadlocks ended the show. I was so freaking impressed; I might actually buy his tanning lotion.
  • At the MTV awards tonight, if Maroon 5 doesn’t win for ‘Song Most Often Played By Me In My Mom’s Honda Civic’. I will be devastated!
  • Summer is almost over! ☹ Good news? Almost eggnog season! ☺ Oh, and some unwanted pony will be slaughtered. ♘
  • Nah, I hide my wife’s dildo in my hockey trunk, so whenever I hear her screaming, “WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!” I know she’s in the mood.
  • Wife bought a 40-pack of AA batteries from Costco in March. It’s still unopened. That’s how good I am in bed.
  • Woke up with Mel Gibson-Braveheart face paint this morning. No idea why… Wife didn’t scream so, I I’m pretending I know what’s going on.
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