- MTV VMAs when Lil’ Stephen Hawking in dreadlocks ended the show. I was so freaking impressed; I might actually buy his tanning lotion.
- At the MTV awards tonight, if Maroon 5 doesn’t win for ‘Song Most Often Played By Me In My Mom’s Honda Civic’. I will be devastated!
- Summer is almost over! ☹ Good news? Almost eggnog season! ☺ Oh, and some unwanted pony will be slaughtered. ♘
- Nah, I hide my wife’s dildo in my hockey trunk, so whenever I hear her screaming, “WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!” I know she’s in the mood.
- Wife bought a 40-pack of AA batteries from Costco in March. It’s still unopened. That’s how good I am in bed.
- Woke up with Mel Gibson-Braveheart face paint this morning. No idea why… Wife didn’t scream so, I I’m pretending I know what’s going on.
