2011 – February 2 (Evil fairy costume)

  • My 5-year-old son wants to turn his sister’s fairy costume in to an evil fairy costume for himself… That’s really cool, right? Ahhh…
  • Dear, wife and daughters: ‘Herbal wash?’ ‘Diamond scrub?’ ‘Yeast what?’ ”Vaginal flush?’… Sorry, if in the shower – it’s shampoo! Okay?
  • “I find your fallopian tubes the most interesting from a contemporary art perspective”, said no husband with a raging hard-on ever.
  • I can’t cheat on my wife! It’s wrong! and I’m sure she could tell because I always hum show tunes when no longer sexually frustrated.
  • “Beerhaze, I need ax u a question Im in Montreal in March…” No, I’m married… I no longer have sex with your typo girls.
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