- If soft hands were a ‘thing’ – women would ask me to touch their junk, instead of me having to perv it out in the super market fruit aisle.
- My hands are so freakin’ soft that when I touch myself – I think of you! Yes, really – you! In bar fights, I’m the guy with the skin lotion.
- You know in porn, when she unbuttons them all and yanks his jeans down? Totally unrealistic! Where’s the box of wine, tears and the begging?
