2011 – January 26 (Sting iTunes download)

  • Twittercide… I was almost there… But then a spam DM about a Sting iTunes download and a backrub from a hobo! #PiscesRule#FuckYeah
  • “Your puppy is so cute and well behaved. His tongue is so warm and soft… Awww!” SHOW ME YOUR TITS! #OnTwitterTooLong
  • My tweets… This life is not too interesting, really. It’s kindergarten stuff… or my wife caught me sitting on her elephant dildo. Sorry!
  • The kids made art with paint knives! Ohhh! Animator: “Only use red and blue!” Me: “Kid, here’s some yellow; make the lady’s head explode…”
  • The field trip to the Contemporary Art Museum of Montreal is the best one I’ve been on! Bless 5-year-olds: “That’s s a lot of snot! Ewww!”
  • Museum trip with the kindergarteners today! Rules: No touching, screaming or running… My son: “And no smoking or shots!” The couch for me.
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