2011 – July 11 (Used my son’s piggy bank)

  • I used my son’s piggy bank to pay my daughter to pick up dog poop so that my wife could mow the lawn, and so that I could tweet about it.
  • I disagree! Wearing my wife’s panties does not make me a pervert – it makes me frugal… and horny.
  • When I admire myself in the mirror, I tell myself that I’m getting slimmer… Even though it’s probably my wife’s panties getting bigger.
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