2011 – July 17 (Woman is not hitting on you)

  • In my experience, a woman is NOT hitting on you at the bar when she asks, “You have lost a shoe… Did you know that?
  • I have been to Paris… So, when approached by a French tourist asking for directions , I do the right thing and say, “No Habla Ingles!”
  • Ask, “Awww! He’s so cute, can I touch him?” and my dog will unzip and pull down my pants, and then point. Best trick ever.
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